Fragmented Peace

5 Minute Friday: Still

2011-07-29T15:06:00.003-05:00

I have forgotten how to be still. In the daily hustle and bustle, I have forgetten to be still. I am unable to truly be still at home very often, desiring to go and be somewhere else if only to be able to be still... church, my MIL's, in the car, anywhere that they isn't 50 things that need to be done. Although I cross still and lazy in my head and for me there is a very fine line between the two. I am lazy by nature, but my house is usually such a wreck that there is always something to do, so laziness has been replaced by busyness and busyness makes my head spin.

I recently rediscovered my joy of reading, which brings me to stillness. I enjoy reading but am finding it hard to find books that I enjoy reading and that are honoring to the Lord. I frankly have a hard time getting into theological books. I want to read them, I want to read about the holiness of God or how to Mortify sin, but when I get down to it, I'm bored. I want to read stories, adventures, something that takes me away from the everyday. Maybe that is an idol in itself, taking me away.

My first attempt at 5 minute Friday.

Is that a bad thing, to want to escape the everyday, even just for a little bit. I know my joy and my comfort and my escape should be my Lord. Am I looking for worldy stillness? What does relaxation look like on a Christian? Do I get to relax or should I spend all free time, renewing my min (a good thing, a very good thing, but not always relaxing.)

An Abundance of Blessings

2011-04-01T07:22:00.005-06:00

For the last couple of months, I have been reading this book by Ann Voskamp. Other than the Bible, to date, this book has changed my life more than any other and I know I have only scratched the surface of what God is teaching me through it. I originally bought the Kindle edition and read the majority of it on my computer, but decided I had to get my hands on it so that I could write all in it, all over it, taking notes and just drinking it in better. I finally ordered the book and finished the last two chapters and now I am starting over. There is so much in this book that grips me and makes me really think on what God has done and who He is. The first chapter deals with some really raw events in the author's life and though they are very hard to read, I am thankful that she shared them. A book about joy would be empty without the realness of everyday pain. In the first chapter titled, an emptier, fuller life, Ann really gets to the heart of our discontent: ingratitude. She says this:

"From all of our beginnings, we keep reliving the Garden story.

Satan, he wanted more. More power, more glory. Ultimately, in his esssence, Satan is an ingrate. And he sinks his venom into the heart of Eden. Satan's sin becomes the first sin of all humanity: the sin of ingratitude. Adam and Eve are, simply, painfully, ungrateful for what God gave.

Isn't that the catalyst of all my sins?

Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied with God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.

Standing before that tree, laden with fruit withheld, we listen to Evil's murmur, "In the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened..." (Genesis 3:5 NASB). But in the beginning, our eyes were already open. Our sight was perfect. Our vision let us see a world spilling with goodness. Our eyes fell on nothing but the glory of God. We saw God as He truly is: good. but we were lured by the deception that there was more to see. And, true, there was more to see: the ugliness we hadn't beheld, the sinfulness we hadn't witnessed, the loss we hadn't known.

We eat. And, in an instant, we are blind. No longer do we see God as one we can trust. No longer do we percieve Him as wholly good. No longer do we observe all of the remaining paradise.

We eat. And, in an instant, we see. Everywhere we look we see a world of lack, a universe of loss, a cosmos of scarcity and injustice.

We are hungry. We eat. We are filled... and emptied.

And still, we look at the fruit and see only the materials means to fill our emptiness. We don't see the material world for what it is meant to be: as the means to communion with God."

There is so much in that little section. And it describes me. Constantly I am grumbling and complaining because things are not going my way, because life is hard and I stumble and fall and fail daily. And in my head I say, "God, you know how hard this is for me..." and what I am saying is, "If you really loves me, You would make it easier." But I know that easy is not what is best for me, but easy is not what makes me change. And it is God's grace alone that allows me to fail and get back up and try again. And it is my failures that bring me to my knees before a holy God and remind me that there is nothing in and of myself that can do anything; IT'S ALL HIM.

Losing Focus

2010-11-19T15:00:00.002-06:00

How quickly the desire for gratitude gets lots in the everyday monotony. Lord, help me to focus on you. As a friend said this week, "Look at Him, Focus on Him." And so that is my goal, to refocus, to stay focused, especially as we go into a busy season that gets lost in materialism, I pray that I will not allow those things to steal my joy. My joy that belongs in and to my Saviour. And so I will write the words out each time, to train and to remind myself, "I am thankful for..."

#13. I am thankful for fall leave collages with two small girls.
#14 I am thankful for no throwing up in the middle of the night.
#15 I am thankful that though I am ungrateful and wretched, I can go to my Lord without fear and tell Him how I really feel.
#16 I am thankful for Friday's off. I am thankful that I work for a company that allows me to work part time from home. I am thankful that I get to be the one that sees my children grow up. (Lord, help me to remember this when I am answering the 500th question of the hour.)
#17 I am thankful for a husband who works so hard and never complains.
#18 I am thankful for the abundance, we want for nothing and have more than we ever deserve and yet most of this world goes without.

Gratitude

2010-11-08T21:46:00.001-06:00

6. "big hugs" from little arms
7. cool fall weather
8. a husband who works hard and never complains
9. sweet tinkling of piano keys... (not in my house though, on the computer- go here http://www.aholyexperience.com and just listen, but I highly sugest you read too)
10. vendors who acknowledge questions you ask and don't ignore you
11. conversations that you never thought would happen
12. I am a redeemed, justified sinner! This one should really be first! But I was really meditating on it today.

Blessings

2010-11-04T11:52:00.003-06:00

5. I am thankful for sunshine, wind and fall!

One Thousand Gifts

2010-11-03T14:57:00.002-06:00

It's November and that means that Thanksgiving is just around the corner. But we have so much to be thankful for and I lose sight of that so easily most days. Ann over at A Holy Experience has issued a challenge of sorts - to start keeping a journal of our gifts, blessings, good things... and so I am accepting the challenge and hoping to journal here. Posting will be sporadic as life is sporadic, but that too I can be thankful for, that life is never boring.

1. I am thankful I am alive. Taken for granted on so many days.

2. I am thankful for my husband, his leadership, his love and his ever present patience with me.

3. I am thankful for my children, who though test me on a daily basis, are also the means of great joy, laughter and fun.

4. I am thankful for my health. Though I struggle with recurring allergy issues, my lot is quite simple and how quickly I forget that. It is not cancer (like sweet Halie) or any number of other life-challenging diseases this world serves us. I pray that I will grasp the enormousness of this blessing, for it is never truly appreciated until it is taken away.

I want to write, but I just can't find the time...

2010-05-19T10:59:00.001-05:00

I miss blogging. I write blog posts in my head, but can never find the time to write them on "paper."

The Thorn

2010-02-04T10:44:00.001-06:00

The Thorn by Martha Snell Nicholson
I stood a mendicant of God before His royal throne
And begged him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.
I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart
I cried, “But Lord this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart.
This is a strange, a hurtful gift, which Thou hast given me.”
He said, “My child, I give good gifts and gave My best to thee.”
I took it home and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore,
As long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more.
I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace,
He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.

Reflections on 2009

2009-12-31T14:07:00.002-06:00

Reflection Questions for 2009

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year? Getting out of credit card debt!
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened? Seeking to be a better mother and struggling daily.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year? Watching my two girls grow into sisters that play and fight!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle? Though not unexpected, my own sin is a constant obstacle

5. Pick three words to describe 2009. Blessed, joyful, fun

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you). Blessed, fun, new

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009 (again, without asking). He would say, I don't know in a voice that said, don't ask me to answer useless questions.

8. What were the best books you read this year? Bible, Because He Loves Me, Comforts from the Cross

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships? My Lord, my husband, my children

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year? understanding the Gospel in a way I never had before.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? I am learning to serve my husband with a joyful heart. Still working on this with my children.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? The little day to day things that make me understand Jesus better. I can't pinpoint just one, but I know now that it is not big things that point us to Christ, but the little things.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? outward.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? I would like to think that I serve others more than I have in the past in a selfless way.

15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home? Being at home with my children and learning to love that role.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management? balancing work and house work and caring for my children

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year? The computer, hands down

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year? Reading the Word

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?I have a long way to go, but keep trying.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you. Growing, learning, changing

Jesus vs. Santa

2009-12-09T09:36:00.001-06:00

Early Christmas Greetings

With 3 weeks before Christmas REMEMBER:
Jesus is Better than Santa.
　
Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
　
Santa rides in a sleigh.
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
　
Santa comes but once a year.
JESUS is an ever present help.
　
Santa fills your stockings with goodies.
JESUS supplies all your needs.
　
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited.
JESUS stands at your door and knocks.. and then enters your heart.
　
You have to stand in line to see Santa.
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
　
Santa lets you sit on his lap.
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
　
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, What's your name?".
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.
　
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly.
JESUS has a heart full of love.
　
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO.
JESUS offers health, help and hope.
　
Santa says "You better not cry".
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you.
　
Santa's little helpers make toys.
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
　
Santa may make you chuckle but . . . ..
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
　
While Santa puts gifts under your tree . . ..
JESUS became our gift and died on the tree.
　
It's obvious there is really no comparison.
We need to remember WHO Christmas is all about.
We need to put Christ back in Christmas.
Jesus is still the reason for the season.
May the Lord Bless and Watch over you and your loved ones this Christmas 2009
And may He prosper and bless the work of your hands in the New Year.
　

The Parrott Family

2009-11-26T16:01:00.001-06:00

A great article came out in the paper today about the Parrotts! Be sure to go donate now that the button is up!

Read Article

Gobble Gobble

2009-11-26T15:57:00.002-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I use the term everyone loosely as in the everyone, I mean no one who actually reads this thing any more.

I have so much to be thankful for. Food, clothes, jobs, a house, money to pay our bills, two beautiful children, a wonderful God-loving husband, amazing family and friends and the list could go on and on.

In addition, I am thankful for the things we don't have, the challenges and trials we have not had to face. The things that God has chosen for others but not for us. Thank you Lord for sovereignly caring about every little detail of ours lives and for loving me enough that when I ran away and turned my back on you for so many years, you kept your hands out reaching for me, and you sought me out and brought me to you. Thank you Jesus for dying for me and for letting me see you for who you truly are and me for who I truly am, a sinner, in need of an amazing Savior. Thank you.

Time flies

2009-11-24T21:13:00.003-06:00

I could yak about why I haven't been here in so long, or how lame I am, but really, who cares?

Waht I do want to say is God is so good! I just took a survey regarding the recession and how it is affecting our family and our jobs. I know many out there are suffering very ill effects of the current economy and I won't say it hasn't affected us either. BUT, both my husband and I are blessed to still have our jobs and we are so thankful for that.

In addition, earlier this year hubby and I did a Crown Financial Study with our small group at church and we have been trying our best at steady plodding and being good stewards of what the Lord has given us. (1 Chronicles 29:12 Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone.) The things we learned and practiced during those weeks have really helped us and I believe the Lord has blessed us for trying to be faithful. I say trying because I knkow that I could do a whole lot better than I have been. But despite my failures, God is merciful and has blessed us abundantly and has gotten us out of credit card debt! How awesome and mighty is He!? So while answering that survey, not only could I say that the recession has not affected us much, we have actually been getting out of debt and being able to give out of what God has so graciously and mercifully given us.

We are also currently raising money for a dear sweet family in our church, the Parrotts. Go here and ready their story. Go, really, I said GO! And if it is laid on your heart to help them, please donate or buy a cookbook or both! We will have the donation button up shortly on their blog and I will post a link here as well. If you have any questions, email me at shootersstation @ gmail dot com. God is doing mighty things with a cookbook we have put together. We are praying, (please do pray with us) that we will have our first order of 300 by Christmas! So far we have sold 75 books and I do truly pray that we sell out and have to buy more. While putting together the cookbook, I prayed for 100 recipes. I ended up with over 250! Praise God again!

I am so thankful that I am allowed to see God work. Thankful that He called me to Jesus to follow Him. It makes me sad that so many cannot see the hand of God in the every day things But I can understand too, when so many have turned their back on God, pushed Him away, told Him they don't need Him, they can't see Him because He has done what they have asked.

Ladies of the Vine: Verse for the week

2009-09-28T08:02:00.000-05:00

Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

Titus 2 is rich with commands on how to live as a wife and woman in the ways that God has intended for us. These verses carry so much that sometimes it is easy to be overwhelmed by what God expects of us as women. But, we have hope, because He is faithful and has given us all we need to live in the way He has called us.

In what ways do these verses convict you? What practical ways to you purpose to obey these commands?

--
Jasmine

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

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He is everywhere

2009-08-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

Acts 17:24-31
24"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. 25And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. 26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

29"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill. 30In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. 31For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead."

Help get my friend's car blown up

2009-08-22T11:01:00.000-05:00

My friends are trying to get their car blown up by Conan, check out their video. http://tinyurl.com/l6bgzb Help get their car blown up!

Graphic PSA in UK

2009-08-21T11:26:00.001-05:00

Is graphic PSA too much? I don't think so, teens need to see the consequences. I saw a video in drivers ed about trying to beat trains. It was graphic and enough to make me never want to try and race a train. http://www.foxnews.com/search-results/m/25972763/graphic-content.htm#q=PSA+Testing

Proverbs 31 Woman

2009-08-18T07:51:00.004-05:00

My friend Sarah has issued a challenge/request. She wants to know our little tidbits of info that help us save money and time. Working part time at home while watching two kids and managing the household, I need all the help I can get. Here is a quick list of what I do, hope it is useful. Feel free to share your tips in the comments here.

I plan my meals every week. I sit down and plan what we are eating each night and then plan my grocery list. I only go to the grocery store once a week. This saves time as well as money because you are making a bunch of little trips to the store. The more you go to the store, the more you buy.
A friend of mine just told me that Walmart will match any competitors price, so she clips all the prices, etc from the weekly grocery circulars and makes a list and takes it with her to Walmart when she shops.
Kroger and I think Randall's both offer double and triple coupons up to a certain amount every day.
If you are into clipping coupons and finding the best deals already, check out The Grocery Game. I don't have the time to do it, but I know that you can save money.
Flylady has helped me when my house gets too out of control. I don't do it all the time, but when I am trying to get back on track, it works great, because it tells me what to do and when to do it. She has some great tips and links to dinner ideas and taking care of your home, family and body as well.
I am slowly learning that it doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be done at a certain time or a certain day. I am learning to let go of the rules I place on how and when things have to be done. This has helped me to be less stressed. It has also helped me to have a messier house. ;-)
In an average week, I leave the house very little. I have found that the more I leave the house, the more money I spend.
In terms of going out to eat, we have a hard time doing this, but I know it works. Portions are so big these days, you and your husband can usually share. If your husband isn't in to sharing and you have kids, my oldest doesn't usually eat much, especially when we are out, so I try to not order her anything and have her share mine or her and her sister will share. Always order water too, you will save money. Kids eat free is always a good thing to take advantage of too. Just make a mental note when you are driving around
For fun things to do in the Houston area as well as a list of Kids eat free places (mainly in the Cypress area though) check out http://www.ninaloca.com/.

I thought of a couple more:

Buy in bulk. Anything you use a lot of , see if you can't buy it in bulk. I do this with meat especially. I buy 5 lbs of ground beef and then split it up into 1 lb increments and freeze it.
Make a lot of one meal and then freeze left overs for an easy dinner at a later date.
Consider one meal a week without meat, it's cheaper.
Frozen veggies are just as good as fresh sometimes and are sometimes cheaper. Check prices though.
Track every penny you spend for a month. You will see what your money goes to and where you need to cut back.
Go to a cash only/check only (remember what those are) basis and you will spend less money because you aren't just whipping out the debit card all the time.
Sit down once a week and do your bills/budget. Looking at it on a regular basis gives you a good idea of what you are spending and where you need to tighten.
Tithe first, save second, then pay your bills. You will be amazed at how much further your money goes this way and your bills won't get lost in the shuffle.

And, lastly, to save time, stay off the internet! Still working on that one.

Well, that's what comes to mind write now. Enjoy!

We the people...

2009-08-14T12:53:00.002-05:00

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies.

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Isaiah 40

2009-08-06T08:19:00.001-05:00

5 And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."
6 A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
7 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."

Tips, Tricks and Product Raves

2009-08-02T09:37:00.002-05:00

Thought I would share some of my favorite things or some of the things I have discovered, slowly I might add, regarding motherhood.

First, wanted to tell all you moms who sweat while chasing your children around, there is some good deoderant out there! A friend recommended it to me. It's called Degree Clinical Protection. It's a bit more expensive than regular so I only use it when I am leaving the house...and continue to use my Dove when I am at home. It works great and no more sweaty pits. Or at least not near as sweaty.

Another product recommended to me, has changed my laundry life forever. I have a habit of leaving laundry in the washer and/or dryer for day(s). Downy Wrinkle Releaser. Most incredible stuff ever! Just spray on fabric, stretch a little and the wrinkles go away! If the fabric is thicker, it doesn't work as well, but t-shirts, etc, it works awesome and it smells like fresh laundry, the kind that hung out on the line to dry!

That's it for today, more to come tomorrow!

It's already tomorrow, already

2009-08-01T16:19:00.001-05:00

Today is yesterday's tomorrow. And so here it is, time to write my first post. And nothing real to write about. I may have to be lazily clever and post one liners and songs for the month. As long as it has the word tomorrow right?

TOMORROW

2009-07-31T08:27:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the day - August 1st, NaBloPoMo begins. While I know that I will never make it to posting everyday, I would like to post here more. I still write blog posts in my head, I just never have time to get them down "on paper" so to speak. Priorities and all.

But Tomorrow is another day, and so we will see what God brings.

A classmate of mine passed away yesterday. I remember little about Terrance Jackson, but what I do remember is his smile, infectious to say the least. He was a clown, always making people laugh, but he had a tender heart. In his mid thirties, he died of a brain aneurism. Life is short. We do not know the number of days the Lord has given us. Do not wait for tomorrow for what you need to do today.

Do you know where you will go, Heaven or Hell, when you die? If you have any questions at all, the Bible is clear about how to get to both. What road are you on?

Unofficial NaBloPoMo for August

2009-07-29T13:56:00.001-05:00

I've tried my hand at this before. Needless to say, I'm pretty bad at keeping up. So I will unofficially be blogging, probably twice in August to be realistic, instead of everyday, on the subject for August which is TOMORROW.

http://nablopomo.ning.com/

Weekly Goals

2009-07-26T20:33:00.001-05:00

I am going to start posting weekly goals. At least this week anyways...;-) Maybe this way I will be more accountable and actually stop being LAZY!

Get up every morning at 6 for Quiet Time and Prayer Time
Memorize Psalm 86:11-13
Read Proverbs 31 every morning as part of the True Woman 30 Day Challenge
Read in John every night
Pray my priorities
Work out at least 20 minutes 2 times this week.

Okay, that should keep me busy this week.

I should really write something

2009-07-14T15:54:00.002-05:00

Where in the world have I been? I write blog posts in my head, they just never make it to paper. Busy with social media for work, don't have much part in it after hours.

The Little One is walking now. She's mobile!!!!!

Wish I had more time to write... Find me on FB or Twitter though.

Undistracted Devotion

2009-03-31T17:15:00.001-06:00

This sermon really hit home with me, and I would venture to say, most Mom's out there or anyone for that matter in this day and age can relate to the busyness and distractions of this world that pull us away from our first love, Jesus Christ.

Fun with Flying

2009-03-30T11:13:00.001-06:00

Love the business men getting into it!

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0a4bae05b8237b63f5f5

Where will you be?

2009-03-30T11:09:00.001-06:00

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=4fe243ea9675cf88602d

Everyone is heading in a direction? Where are you headed?

Happy First Birthday Grace

2009-03-26T21:40:00.002-06:00

Gracie/Woosky/Boosky/Woosky Booter,
A year ago today, right now I was getting my epidural (close enough) and in an hour, you were born. What a blessing and a joy it is to be your mother. Your smile, laughter and giggle are some of my greatest joys. I thank God for bringing you into my life.

Love,
Mama

Weekend Fun

2009-03-23T13:04:00.007-06:00

Quick update and just forget the past 6 or so months without a post, kay...

We went to The Woodlands Resort for the weekend! It was an amazing blessing to actually get to go somewhere as a family during Spring Break! Now that hubby is at a new job we actually get to spend weekends together and it has completely changed our family dynamic, for the good.

Here are some pics of the girls. Grace turns 1 this week and it's amazing how fast the past year has gone. How did I end up with a 3 and 1 year old? I have some idea how it happened, but I am still amazed at these two little blessings.

Waiting for Winna to come get us, sittin' in the wagon.

Sisters.

First trip to the pool, "What is that?"

Random Questions

2009-02-02T13:44:00.002-06:00

Do people actually talk face to face anymore or does everyone just twitter their husbands?

Why is my 10 month old all of a sudden getting up at 6:30 am?

Why does my 3 year old think she needs to smell her sister's bottom? Maybe cuz she sees me doing it?

Why does the weather keep going from 80 to 30 every other day?

Why am I complaining? I could live in KY? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Why?

Tagged in Facebook, use for blog...

2009-01-30T10:50:00.002-06:00

I still can't understand how so many people have time for the social media thing. I don't et my laundry done as it is...

Anyhooo. .. did this in facebook and thought, hey let's post something over here. If you feel so inclined, do it yourself and drop me an email, twitter me, facebook me, whatever it's called and I might see it when I dig out from my never ending pile of things-to-do-that-seem-to-never-get-done.

So I present, 25 random, and possibly strange, things about me.

1. I have never plucked my eyebrows. Ever.
2. I have been married 5 years.
3. We went to Costa Rica on our honeymoon. I highly recommend it!
4. My husband and I quit drinking in August of 2008. We decided that the way we used alcohol was not honoring to God nor was it setting an example we wanted our children to see and follow.
5. After many years as an atheist, agnostic and growing up Jewish, God opened my eyes and saved me in June of 2007.
6. Being a Christian has brought me more joy, happiness and peace than I ever thought was possible and in a way I never imagined was possible.
7. I love my two girls, but would love to have a boy next time. Not sure I would know what to do with one though!
8. I have worked for The Woodlands Resort & Conference Center for almost 10 years.
9. I have a BS in Kinesiology with a minor is Psychology. I do marketing for a living and I love it!
10. I don’t understand how so many people have so much time to blog, twitter, facebook, etc. How do you guys get anything done?
11. My favorite sound in the whole wide world is the sound of my girls laughing.
12. I have a foot fetish. Don’t come near me with those things. Toe fungus commercials creep me out.
13. I used to be a personal trainer. Now I work out about once a year.
14. I have a brother and a sister that are the same age for 8 months out of the year, but the only way they are related is through me. (Technically they are both half, but I have never ever thought of them this way.)
15. I am a very selfish person. I am trying very hard to overcome that.
16. I want to be a better wife and mother than I am.
17. I am really bad and keeping up with people.
18. Most weeks I don’t go anywhere except Walmart and Church.
19. I am an extremely amatuer photographer, but I would love to spend all my time taking photos.
20. I have a blog, but rarely post on it anymore. Doesn’t matter cause my 5 readers I had before have long since disappeared.
21. Both of my daughters were born the day before they were scheduled to be induced, a week late. They like the threat of induction apparently.
22. I wish I was better at doing the family thing. I am bad at keeping up with my family.
23. I went to 5 different elementary schools in two different states.
24. I lived in Mexico when I was little and spoke pretty good Spanish. That’s all gone now, despite 4 years of Spanish between 8th grade and college. You don’t use it, you lose it.
25. I am not going to tag anyone for this since most everyone who cares to do it, already has.

To my Boo Ba

2009-01-15T16:39:00.005-06:00

Happy 3rd Birthday (yesterday) Sweetie! We love you soooooooo much. What a blessing and a joy you are to us and all those you come in contact with.

Matthew 7:13

2009-01-12T07:07:00.003-06:00

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. " Matthew 7:13 NIV

Jesus is talking about the way to heaven. When we come to forks in the road, hard decisions, day to day life, everything, the hard way is rarely the way that we would choose. In general we choose to go the path of least resistance, which usually happens to be the path that most everyone else is on. We cave to our selfish desires to be comfortable, to have it easy, to not have to face the difficult decisions, even when we know they are the right decisions. Many times we face a situation, knowing that if we choose one way, it will be harder, but probably best in the long run and we face an option to choose the easy way and usually avoid any discomfort, but also in turn avoiding not only the true issue, but the blessings we might have received had we chosen correctly.

The road to God through Christ is narrow and many choose to ignore it, choosing instead to believe that since so many more people are on the broad road, that one must be right. We find comfort in numbers, believing that the majority is always right. Sometimes the majority are just lost.

It is easy to see the wide path when looking for options, but finding the narrow path requires searching, asking tough questions, suffering consequences for our sin and moving forward in faith and trust that the God who made us and all that we know will get us through to the other side.

Photo Friday: White

2009-01-09T14:54:00.001-06:00

Best Gift EVER!!!

2008-11-12T20:56:00.002-06:00

My husband gave me the best gift today I think I have gotten since we have been married and definitely since we have had kids. Any guesses?

Someone other than me cleaned my house today. Cleaner than it has been since we moved in. (A little insight into my housekeeping abilities) They did an amazing job! I almost cried, seriously. You have no idea what a blessing it was to have this company come in to my messy house and make it spic and span and leave a chocolate next to my bed and a little treat for Boo Ba. Amazing, I tell you and such a treat! And they use all natural products so no harsh chemicals and I'm not scared if my little ones lick the floor!

If I were you, I would put this on your Christmas list!

Savannahisms

2008-11-01T11:51:00.004-06:00

"Keep it spicy, Mom"

Savannah loves to watch cooking shows and this was just one of the many adorable things that came out of her mouth all on her own the other day and again this morning.

I dropped off Hubby's clothes at the cleaners the other day and when I got back in the car, Savannah was quite upset, "I want daddy's clothes back in the car. Go get Daddy's clothes back!" She cried the whole way home about Daddy's clothes.

On another note, we are potty trained!!!! Praise God, once I just buckled down and did it, she caught on so quickly. Now she can almost do it all by herself. Next we just have to wean her off the treats!

And now, Cuteness:

In case you didn't know

2008-08-22T10:47:00.002-05:00

Daddy is a boy... Savannah loves to talk about this. She likes to go through who is a boy and who is a girl. Daddy is also a man... and wears big boy underwear...;-)

Savannah's favorite thing to do when she sees a spider, yell at it. She gets down within an inch of it and places her hands on either side of it and yells, "SSPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I'm not sure if all two year olds have a Boston accent, but mine sure does. That Spider yell up there, that's exactly how she does it.

More cuteness to follow.

The Daily Digest

2008-08-19T21:45:00.002-05:00

The funny for today: Savannah decided after I had dressed her in a cute skirt and top that she wanted to wear her "wetsuit" over her clothes. She wore it to the bank and the store. I totally forgot she might have looked funny.

Gracie did what she normally does, eat, sleep and poo, with some extra poo today.

That's about as good as it's going to get these days.

The Door to The Inside

2008-06-11T15:05:00.003-05:00

This is our front door. Shot from the inside. It really is a shame we rarely use this door.

News from the home front

2008-06-08T15:41:00.004-05:00

Last night, after we had put Boo Bear to bed and dinner was on the table, Hubby and I sat down to eat. We asked God's blessing for our food and began to eat. All of a sudden, Hubby looked at me, got this look on his face and said, "Don't move." He got out of his chair, walked around the table to me. I looked up at him, he again told me not to move. I thought I had a bug in my hair. He sat studying my hair for a moment, then grabbed something and tugged. I felt the hair pulled from my head, from the root. Hubby, exlaimed, "ah ha!" He stuck what he had triumphantly pulled from my head and there it was before me. My first gray hair. It was about 2.5 inches long and glared at me in defiance. I tried to explain it away as just being a random blond hair, but there really was not getting away from it. Luckily, I'm not one to make a big deal out of such things. Now hubby on the other hand, who I might mention has been going gray for awhile now, just lightly peppered into his blondish brown hair, but gray never the less, decided this was quite a big deal. Such a big deal that he chose to mount my first gray hair to a blank white envelope with tape and write the details of the momentous event on the piece of paper, forever memorializing that moment. Gotta love him. I blame that gray hair on my 2.5 year old!

My dear friends, I can't help but love that man. You can barely see it in the pic, but to the right of the words 1st and Gray, there is my 2.5 inch long gray hair taped to an envelope.

Irony

2008-06-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

I find it funny that on the inside of a diaper pack, there is a coupon for Kote*x. Big people diaper coupons in the little diaper package.

Pictures from Home

2008-06-04T22:37:00.005-05:00

The view down the driveaway early in the morning. Boo Bear on the back patio playing in her sandbox.

Skeeter in her bouncy seat smiling away!

The Side of the Garage

Well, nothing too exciting, but check back for more EXCITING STORIES OF HOME!

Cheater Post

2008-06-03T21:26:00.003-05:00

What is home to me?

2008-06-02T21:51:00.002-05:00

Well, we know how dictionary.com defines Home, but what does Home mean to me?

Home is where my husband is. The husband that loves me unconditionally. The husband the works so hard to care for his family. The husband that empties the dishwasher for me in the morning so I have one less thing to do. The husband who kindly says, "I'll take over" when he sees I've reached my breaking point. The husband that is the father to my two beautiful girls. The husband who is patient and kind and loving and all the things I wished for and never thought I would get.

Home is where my children are. Where my Savvy runs around non-stop from 6, 7, or 8 am until 8 pm daily. Where her little voice can alternately drive me crazy and make my heart melt. Where my Gracie wakes me at 1 or 2 or 3 and 6 or 7 or 8 am to tell me she's hungry and feed me now before I wake up my sister. Where my Gracie watches her sister run around and smiles and talks to her.

Home is where my carpet is dirty, my tile is filthy, my tubs aren't clean and my toilets aren't scrubbed and I'm okay with that, because my kids are clean (ok, sometimes), the meals are cooked and my bed is oh so comfy when I fall into it at night. Home is where my stuff is, the stuff I could live without if I needed to, but the stuff that I have become comfortable with, even if some of that stuff is dirty.

BUT... all that is nothing compared to the home, my true home, in heaven which I look forward to most of all.

Home...The Beginning

2008-06-01T18:13:00.003-05:00

What is home?

From Dictionary.com, Home is defined as:

–noun
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
3. an institution for the homeless, sick, etc.: a nursing home.
4. the dwelling place or retreat of an animal.
5. the place or region where something is native or most common.
6. any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.
7. a person's native place or own country.
8. (in games) the destination or goal.
9. a principal base of operations or activities: The new stadium will be the home of the local football team.
10. Baseball. home plate.
11. Lacrosse. one of three attack positions nearest the opposing goal. –adjective
12. of, pertaining to, or connected with one's home or country; domestic: home products.
13. principal or main: the corporation's home office.
14. reaching the mark aimed at: a home thrust.
15. Sports. played in a ball park, arena, or the like, that is or is assumed to be the center of operations of a team: The pitcher didn't lose a single home game all season. Compare away (def. 11). –adverb
16. to, toward, or at home: to go home.
17. deep; to the heart: The truth of the accusation struck home.
18. to the mark or point aimed at: He drove the point home.
19. Nautical.
a. into the position desired; perfectly or to the greatest possible extent: sails sheeted home.
b. in the proper, stowed position: The anchor is home.
c. toward its vessel: to bring the anchor home. –verb (used without object)
20. to go or return home.
21. (of guided missiles, aircraft, etc.) to proceed, esp. under control of an automatic aiming mechanism, toward a specified target, as a plane, missile, or location (often fol. by in on): The missile homed in on the target.
22. to navigate toward a point by means of coordinates other than those given by altitudes.
23. to have a home where specified; reside. –verb (used with object)
24. to bring or send home.
25. to provide with a home.
26. to direct, esp. under control of an automatic aiming device, toward an airport, target, etc. —Idioms
27. at home,
a. in one's own house or place of residence.
b. in one's own town or country.
c. prepared or willing to receive social visits: Tell him I'm not at home. We are always at home to her.
d. in a situation familiar to one; at ease: She has a way of making everyone feel at home.
e. well-informed; proficient: to be at home in the classics.
f. played in one's hometown or on one's own grounds: The Yankees played two games at home and one away.
28. bring home to, to make evident to; clarify or emphasize for: The irrevocability of her decision was brought home to her.
29. home and dry, British Informal. having safely achieved one's goal.
30. home free,
a. assured of finishing, accomplishing, succeeding, etc.: If we can finish more than half the work today, we'll be home free.
b. certain to be successfully finished, accomplished, secured, etc.: With most of the voters supporting it, the new law is home free.
31. write home about, to comment especially on; remark on: The town was nothing to write home about. His cooking is really something to write home about.

Well that certainly gives us a starting point and a lot to talk about in the month of June. Happy Home Blogging.

So what's new with you???

2008-05-31T15:13:00.005-05:00

Where have I been? Two kids keeps you kind of busy. Good busy, fall into bed at night busy, but it's wonderful. Here is a little bit of life in pics from our family!

In addition, and as a way to try and be somewhat consistent with blogging on this here blog, I am going to try and do the Nanoblomo for the month of June. The theme is home. I can't say I will blog every day, but at least when I do, I will have some direction rather than, Hi, the baby pooped, the other one played outside, we ate, we slept, the end.

My Girls

2008-05-03T11:35:00.003-05:00

Ummm... Wow

2008-04-30T14:51:00.001-05:00

This rocks beyond... words...

Food for Thought

2008-04-23T10:16:00.003-05:00

I have multiple posts in the works only partially finished. But as I was reading this morning, this jumped out at me and really made me think.

From the book Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health by Donald S. Whitney.

"Just because a man longs for something that can be found in God alone doesn't mean he's looking for God. A man may pine for peace yet have no interest in the Prince of Peace. Many who claim they are questing for God are not thirsting for God as He has revealed Himself in Scripture, but only for God as they want Him to be, or for a god who will give them what they want."

Making Dinner the Boo Bear Way

2008-04-17T11:07:00.003-05:00

I have been letting Boo Bear help me more as I cook and she really enjoys it. A little too much! Lat night I had put 2 cans of soup in a bowl and I let her pour in some milk and then add some pepper and stir it together. I set the bowl aside and was working on the pasta. I turned around for just a second and when I turned back around, I turned just in time to see Boo Bear pour my orange juice into the bowl. Yum! Cheddar Cheese soup, milk, pepper and OJ! The perfect combination. So we had to go to Plan B for dinner.

I couldn't get mad because it was just too funny!

The Birth Story: Grace Dancer

2008-04-08T16:18:00.006-05:00

I know most of my readers that came out of the wood work for the birth of baby Grace have long since dissappeared, but I am going to right this birth story. Probably not in one sitting, as I am pulled in many different directions these days. But here goes...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

1:00 a.m.

I woke at my normal time, but this time it wasn't to go to the bathroom. I had a painful contraction. From about 1 to 2 I tried to sleep through them and finally got up. I started timing them as I read through blogs and falsely told the internet I might be in labor. By 4:30 am the contractions were consistently 10 minutes apart and pretty painful. My doc had told me to call her when they were 10 minutes apart because we are 30 minutes from the hospital. We got to the hospital about 7:00 am. They put me on the monitor and my contractions were inconsistent, not even the 10 minutes apart that they had been. They had me walk around for awhile. I was starving the whole time. I had been scared to eat anything because I didn't want to throw it up. After about an hour, they put me back on the monitor and my contractions were about 16 minutes apart. I had them more frequently walking around, but I didn't want to walk anymore.

They discharged me from the hospital and we went to eat. Ironically, or not so ironically, we parked in the Expectant Mother's parking spot and took some pics of my standing under the sign. Too funny.

After we ate, we came home and took a nap. My contractions had all but disappearred. Hubby and I ran some errands even. I took a Blue Cohosh to see if that might help things along. This was about 5 pm. By 7:30 my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and we called the doc and she told us to go in again and not to let them send me home. I was sure I was in labor this time as I was not hungry at all! I had a fish taco and a bowl of mac and cheese to eat all day.

I am not sure how fast hubby was driving on the way to the hospital as I was in quite a bit of pain and was laying down, but we seemed to get there fairly fast. He also had his flashers on, which clued me in to the fact that my husband, who normally goes exactly the speed limit at all times, was speeding! I am sure at the time, it felt like an eternity before we got to the hospital.

We arrived and finally made it to the desk. We filled out the check in paper work for the second time that day and the triage nurse came to get me. Her words, "you look like a keeper." Ya think! They had to triage me to check me so we went to a room and she checked my dialation and I was a 5-6. Yippee!!! Sign me up for an epidural! Things are a little vague from there, but I think I got put into a room pretty quick after that. They basically had to draw blood and put an IV in and give me a bag of fluid before I could get my epidural. It all happened as quickly as those things can late at night and when the anesthesiologist came in, boy was I happy to see him!

Wiht Boo Bear, they let hubby stay in for the epidural, but apparently this is dependent on the doctor and this one didn't allow it. Bummer, but I had a wonderful nurse who stayed with me. With Boo Bear, I had been in so much pain for so long and it was complete back labor, so I didn't feel a thing when I got my epidural. This time, I could feel it all and it didn't really hurt, but it didn't feel great either. Of course I felt fabulous after it kicked in. I told the nurse that we would be having a baby soon. My doc came in to check me and I was 8-9cm and she checked my ability to push and said once again, let's have a baby! The nurse hardly had time to call a second nurse before I started pushing. She was holding my leg in one hand and trying to call the nurse with the other hand. I knew from my first labor that once I get my epidural, it generally relaxes me enough that I progress very quickly. For this birth, we chose to allow our family in the room to see the birth. I really wanted to give them the gift of seeing a grandchild be born.

I pushed 2 times and I could feel the head stuck. The doc had to cut me this time to free the head. I pushed one more time and out she came. Of course we were all waiting to hear if it was a he or a she! She was beautiful and they placed her immediately on my chest. I was crying, I am sure others were too, but I was enamored with my newest daughter.

She looks just like her sister, but with blond hair and of course she didn't weigh near as much as Boo Bear. She is precious and 3 weeks later we are so blessed with her!

The first couple weeks were a little tough with adjusting to the lack of sleep, but she is a great kid, sleeping well, getting up 2-3 times a night, usually just 2 to eat and going back to sleep. We have already moved her into her room to sleep most of the time, this way we all sleep better. She is a grunter and makes a lot of noise so I couldn't sleep and usually would go pick her up which would disturb her sleep. We also discovered that she sleeps much better on her stomach. Since she can already lift her head and because she is my second child, I have been okay with her sleeping on her stomach, especially because she sleeps great this way and that's makes us all happy! Her digestive track is still getting up to speed and this makes her a little cranky, mostly at th eend of the day, but other than that, she only cries when she is hungry, tired or has a dirty diaper.

It feels like she has been around forever and I can't wait to watch her and see how her personality and her appearance changes as she grows! Having the experience of seeing Boo Bear grow has only made me more excited to see it happen this second time with a different child.

Boo Bear loves her little sister and the adjustment has been easy so far. She wants to hold her and squeeze her and yells her name in her face, but we are still working on quiet and gentle in general so that is to be expected.

Some days are easier than others, but in general, it's not so bad. The hardest part is of course the lack of sleep, but we get by. Some days I can get them to nap at the same time so I can nap.
I go back to work in just 2-3 short weeks and I am dreading that and still not sure how I am going to do that, but I know God will give me the grace and endurance I need to make it through.

It's a Girl!!!!!

2008-03-27T10:57:00.003-06:00

Grace Dancer finally made her way into this world March 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm. We made it right under the wire to not be induced and we are so thankful. Full story will follow eventually, but for now, we are all doing well.

Grace Dancer

7 lbs 13 oz and 19" long

The Bellybean is Here!

2008-03-27T07:11:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone, Em here blogging for the new mommy!

It appears that in the wee hours of the morning baby Grace made her way into this world.

Right now all I know is that she was 7lbs and 13oz.

When I have more info I'll let you know. And hopefully pictures soon!

Baby girls are so fun! Congrats to Mommy and Daddy and Big Sister!

Live baby blogging...

2008-03-26T02:54:00.002-06:00

It seems my kids like to come a week late, to the day... I really don't want to jump the gun here, but it is 3:55 am and I have been having contractions every 7-10 minutes or so that last about a minute since 1 am.

And I'm live blogging it all...

It's 2 am, do you know where your baby is?

2008-03-26T01:12:00.002-06:00

Well, we have decided to go ahead and set our induction for Thursday morning. I am still praying that we will go into labor on our own and lo and behold here I sit at 2 in the morning with the occassional painful contraction.

Hold your horses, and mine, it could be a false alarm. But I had at least 3 contractions between 1 and 1:50 or so and they are quite unpleasant so we shall see. If not today, then tomorrow, we will have us a baby.

Please pray for a swift, safe delivery and a healthy baby. Thanks and see you on the flip side of labor!

Baby Update

2008-03-24T20:26:00.002-06:00

Still the same today as last week. We are praying about whether or not to induce this week or wait until next week. My doctor has told me she will let me go until next Wednesday if we want to but there is some risk of the size of the baby and the baby passing miconium which can cause breathing problems at birth.

Please pray that we would have wisdom from God and that we would do His will and not our own.

How can I say this so that it's fresh and new?

2008-03-22T12:33:00.002-06:00

No baby yet! But that's okay, this one just isn't done cooking yet.

In Boo Bear news, I don't know if I mentioned, but last Sunday we took her to her first movie. Horton Hears a Who and she did great. I expected to spend most of the show in the lobby chasing her around. We only had a couple instances of learning to be quiet in a theater and one point where I had to ply her with Reese's Pieces, but she actually sat through the whole movie.

Last night we dyed eggs and she was black from hand to elbow. She enjoyed it although it was late when we got home from church so she was tired. She enjoyed throwing the egg into the dye and then sticking her whole hand in to retrieve the egg. Her father let her do it of course, which is good because I never want her getting that dirty so don't let her have that fun. Her daddy and I balance each other out great.

Today her Winna took her to an Easter egg hunt at the VFW and she apparently just wanted to follow the Easter Bunny around and have him carry her. Too funny. No interest in the eggs at all until Winna told her to get some for Mommy and Daddy and Mimi and Poppi and Nana, etc. We will go to Church in the morning and then do a small little egg hunt at Winna's and then probably take it easy tomorrow. Who knows, maybe we will have an Easter baby!

Snug as a Bug in a Rug

2008-03-20T12:49:00.002-06:00

Well, despite what that there ticker says over there, yesterday was my actual due date and once again, I have provided my child with such a comfortable womb, that he/she is content to stay put. Tuesday night I thought for sure I was in labor, but alas, it was not so. And so we wait. I feel good despite the continued lack of sleep and just look forward to holding this baby soon. I went to the doc yesterday and no change since last week when I was at 3 cm, 0 station and 80% effaced. As my doc says, I have a cervix of steel. Apparently.

And so we continue to wait for the day the Lord has chosen.

The Great Baby Watch

2008-03-15T13:31:00.001-06:00

Still no baby. Feeling pretty good still despite the lack of sleep. Also, the last two weeks are fairly easy for me, because at least now I know that by the end of March, I will get to hold this baby in my arms. My doc will only let me go over my due date by a week so by Wednesday we will have an induction date, which I pray we will not get to.

And there you have it!

The Outrage

2008-03-07T20:39:00.002-06:00

As I sit on the edge of bringing another child into this world, I am outraged, shocked and disturbed by the world we live in. I understand we live in a fallen world and I so look forward to the day where this world falls away and a new world is brought about.

This shocks me beyond words. How can we possibly take away the right of parents to educate their own children. Isn't this our most important job, next to protecting them?

This sickens me. Only 24 years for this violent offense. We are all off our rockers.

This and this sadden me and makes me want to cling even more to my own dear loved ones.

I have a personal opinion as to why we have gone off the deep end, but what do you think? Why is this behavior so prevalent?

The Home Stretch

2008-03-01T13:50:00.002-06:00

I'm still pregnant, we'll get that out of the way. As of Thursday, I was 1.5 cm and 80% effaced. It could be any day or it could be after my due date. Anyone care to take a guess. I'm not promising any prizes, just the satisfaction of being right.

I am quite a bit more uncomfortable with this baby than I was with Boo Bear, or at least as I remember it. At a shower a couple weeks ago, I was informed that I complained quite a bit about pregnancy#1. I would like to think that I just complain less now...

In the mean time, we have slowly gotten the baby's rooom closer to being ready for an actual baby. Dear friends from Church gave us a beautiful dresser that we got yesterday and I absolutely love. After the baby is born, I hope to possibly decorate the room around the gorgeous piece. I will get some pics to post later.

In Boo Bear news, the girl is growing so fast and is talking up a storm. She is with her Mimi and Poppi this weekend and Mom is getting a much needed day to chill out. Boo Bear is up to 4-5 word sentences. Not a ton of them, but some, mostly consisting of telling us what she is playing with. Her cutest moments are when she says "I ty again." (I try again) Alas, my daughter got my patience and the Lord is using this opportunity to work on my own patience issues. Not one of my better virtues, patience, so the Lord is working on us both to be more patient.

The other night at dinner, hubby sneezed and Boo Bear said, "Bwess you Dadddddy." We both looked at her like, where did that come from? It was too cute.

Since we moved her to the big bed, she gets up quite a bit earlier and every morning, I wait to hear the pitter patter of her little feet and then she throws her baby doll and any other toys she brings from her bed up onto the bed. Some mornings she will be content to lay there for a little while we continue to sleep. When she is done laying quietly, she will demand the "mote" and we will turn on the Disn*y Channel and let her watch, Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (Pickey and Gooshey!!!! are much demanded in the morning), Little Einsteins and then Han Manny or officially Handy Manny. Then Sesame Street. Some of you may recall the first year of her life, she watched zero television. Then we introduced Sesame Street when she got a little older as I needed more entertainment options for her while I worked. And slowly, we have used the TV just as most Parents use the TV, as a pacifier to get things done. So alas, all those of you who asked how I ever did it without TV, I don't do it without TV anymore. I do turn it off after Sesame Street and we don't watch any more after that, except for maybe an Elm0 DVD in the afternoon if work is busy.

I haven't yet figured out how I am going to manage two kids and working from home, but I know the Lord willl provide all I need to manage. I am ready as best as I think you can prepare for a second child.

Will keep you posted!

The Joys of Everyday Life

2008-02-19T17:39:00.001-06:00

I sit here on the couch reading blogs, resting my feet. My feet, which my darling two year old keeps smelling and saying, "eeeeew," which her father taught her to do. Then she laughs. And then she shoves my toe up her nose.

I sure do love that child.

The Home Stretch

2008-02-17T14:37:00.002-06:00

As that nice little ticker so blaringly states, 31 days and counting until the due date of this baby. We are nearing the home stretch and boy am I ready. I am ready to know if this is a boy or a girl. I am ready to sleep, even if it is for 2 hours at a time, at least I won't be getting up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. I am ready to see my feet and feel my fingers and so on and so forth.

At my doctor's appointment on Thursday, I measured 1cm and 60% effaced. With Boo Bear, I was 1 cm for about a 5 weeks or so before she was born. I don't remember being as effaced though until closer to my delivery date. I know that God's timing is perfect and so we are waiting on that time. However, we would love for this baby to come early as it then won't interfere with Spring Break and hubby's very busy schedule. I know interfere seems like such a harsh word, but really if the baby comes on the due date (March 19th) hubby will have to work and will only be around for the birth of the baby, if that, God willing. So we are praying for early around here, but patiently waiting on the Lord to tell us when.

We did finally pick out a girl's name, so if it does turn out to be a girl, she won't be coming home nameless. Our boy name was picked out from when we were pregnant with Boo Bear. Brody Fuller. We just stumbled across Brody and liked it and Fuller is my husband's, father's middle name. If it's a girl, she will be named Grace Dancer. Grace was on a list from the beginning, but as a middle name. Dancer is my grandmother's maiden name and my Mom and Sister's middle name. We hadn't really planned on choosing family names specifically, but it ended up that way.

I hope your week to come is blessed. Will keep you informed as best I can.

The Bellybean

2008-01-29T10:47:00.000-06:00

This poor, sweet unborn child o'mine has been so neglected on this here blog. With Boo Bear, I chronicled so much more, talked about her so much more, etc. I guess it's really just the time issue, but I still feel bad that I have not created any sort of running commentary on this pregnancy. No baby book, no memory of how it went or how I felt, etc. So I will attempt to remember chronicle here in one big rambling post.

This pregnancy has been very different than my first. Not drastically, but different enough. I am trying not to read too into that and think that this one might be a boy because of that. I was much sicker with this baby. First trimester was the typical, nauseous blur. With Boo Bear, I didn't start getting sick until the second trimester despite feeling like it all the time. With this one, I got sick from day one. It's usually just once and usually first thing in the morning and occassional, here in the third trimester, it still happens. If I don't eat quick enough or get some OJ in me pretty quick, then I get sick. The amount of snot that I have had this time doesn't help. I will leave it at that.

With Boo Bear, I drank milk like never before in my life. 1st trimester I ate mostly fruit and ice cream and not much else. I had ice cream almost every night of my pregnancy with Boo Bear. I drank chocolate milk, ate chocolate cake, things I had never done before. With the Bellybean, I have been more into salty foods. I have drank hardly any milk at all. But a ton of OJ. I have at least one glass of OJ a day. I have actually added salk to my food which I never do. I ate bacon for the first time since my teens, and liked it!

With Boo Bear I had insomnia something fierce. From the beginning I would be up for 2-4 hours a night, wide awake, working, reading, watching TV. This one, I am up 50 times a night (I exaggerate only slightly) and roll over 100 times a night, which doesn't make for great sleep, but at least I am in bed horizontal, not wide awake. Of course, I am much more tired, taking care of a two year old and working and being a housewife, yet I go to bed at midnight every night. With Boo Bear, I went to bed a 10 every night. Go figure!

I am carrying this baby much lower than Boo Bear. My doc says it's because your uterine muscles are not as strong as before since I have already had one child. I have been introduced to the belly belt this time around, a nice little contraption that does little to hold up what feels like a massive belly. And I am much more uncomfortable with this one, but that could just be attributed to carrying around a two year old too.

With Boo Bear of course, I was busy planning and preparing and the like. With this one, well, let's just say, if he/she doesn't mind sleeping in a desk, then his/her room is ready. Right now, the baby's room has a twin mattress in it, a bookshelf full of our books, a desk, a filing cabinet, all my craft stuff that I never have time for, miscellaneous papers, a mish mash of baby stuff, and stuff in general. The room has a border about mid way up all the way around the room that is primary colors and is trains, planes and fire trucks. Okay, if we have a boy, but not exactly what I have in mind, especially since the bedding is surfing. So, we need to move all the non-baby stuff... somewhere and we need to paint and we need to move baby stuff in and I need to pull baby clothes out of the attic and wash them and the list goes on.

What is the same? I sit in bed at night and watch my stomach to watch the Bellybean move around in there. I love feeling this baby inside me and am so thankful through it all that we are so blessed to be having another one. With two months and counting, I cannot wait to meet this one, to see if it's a boy or a girl, to give him/her a name, to see what he/she looks like, to see what he/she is going to be like. Will he/she have Boo Bear's personality? My eyes? My husband's temperment? Will he/she sleep like their sister? And on and on. We can't wait to meet this new blessing in our lives.

Don't get me wrong, there is still the apprehension of how I am going to handle two. How will I sleep with a toddler running around? When will I sleep? How will I function? How will I work? How will I go to the store? How will I go anywhere, ever again? You get the idea. But I know that the Lord will provide, financially, with strength and endurance, with whatever we need to get through. I know that the first couple of months/year will be difficult, but I also know that it is such a joy to grow our family.

************************

On another note, we moved Boo Bear to the Big Girl Bed (twin mattress on the floor) two nights ago and so far so good. The first night she took to it really well. She came into our room about 5:30 am and about gave me a heart attack. She had lost her Binky. Then she came back in about 7:30 with a passel of toys. Naptime yesterday went well also. Last night, Daddy put her down while I was at Bible Study and did have some issues with her coming out of the room. The first time she just came out looking around, like she just wanted to see what was going on. Daddy put her back to bed and about ten minutes later she came out and said, "tissshhhoooo." And so it begins, I can see it now. "I need a drink of water." "I'm hungry," "I have to go to the bathroom." "I need a tissue." But once Daddy put her back down and she stayed there until this morning at 7:30 when she came and snuggled up in bed with us. I looked in on her before I went to bed and I couldn't find her in the bed. I found her curled up under the crib (which we are moving tonight). Too cute. Next milestone is potty training, but I just don't have it in me yet to work on that and want to make sure I don't give her too much at once.

Um... Happy New Year?

2008-01-23T15:38:00.001-06:00

So it's been a little while. Okay, a long while. So much has happened since my last post. And rather than try to update you on all that's happened with words, I will update you with pictures. Enjoy.

Boo Bear turns 2!!!!

Here she is pleading for Cake before her guests even show up.

The Birthday Girl!

Attempted pics with Santa. We waited 2 hours and she said no way...

The Diva

Random Cuteness

Christmas. She insisted on wearing her new pajamas over the old pajamas. She was very disappointed when we dumped this box out and the kitchen was not put together. So was Daddy.

Christmas Morning.

Visiting Elmo!!!!

Costa Rica Trip

Witch's Rock

Surfing

The iguana that almost got us!

You can't tell from this picture, but this grasshopper is about 6 inches long!

Sunset at Playa Grande

The End.

The Immediate Gratification Culture

2008-01-03T11:00:00.001-06:00

I was reading this article and it really got me thinking about the culture these days. We have become so caught up in the "I-want-it-now-right-this-very-minute" that I think we have forgotten how great anticipation can be. Remember the days when a new movie would come on HBO and you could not wait to see it! Waiting in anticipation for that black screen to start and to hear the HBO music and start flying through the stars. Giddy anticipation. In our house, a new movie meant eating pizza in the living room around the coffee table, a big treat since the living room was usually off limits. And when a movie would go from the big screen to video, it took months. We actually had to wait anywhere from a couple of months to maybe even a year and maybe forget a little bit of what we had seen, but we got excited when that movie made it to video and then to TV.

Getting movies on demand is just a sign of the culture we have become. First we went to the video store to get our movies. Then we could order them and have them come right to our door and now we can watch them on our computers or TV's immediately and usually only a month to two months after they were in the theaters. We can't even lift a finger to punch in buttons on our phones anymore. We have touch screens. We have astronomical credit debt because we purchase on whims because we want it RIGHT NOW!!!

Anticipation is one of those emotions that is so powerful. When anticipating a pleasant event, it can make the experience that much better, or sometimes it can be the best part. When anticipating a painful or uncomfortable event, it can do the same, make the experience that much more painful or can be the worst part. Anticipation...

What does it do to you?

Happy Cough Snort Snot New Cough Year

2007-12-31T15:34:00.000-06:00

I really keep planning on updating you all (all 3 of you) on our vacation, Christmas and the like, but alas, things like playing with my daughter, spending time with family and working have taken all my time. Not to mention the cold that my daughter gave me that has turned into a nightmare.

With that, I wish you all a snot-free, cough-free, healthy New Year!

Oops

2007-11-30T15:56:00.001-06:00

We went and picked our Christmas Tree yesterday evening. We got it home, put it in the stand and ooops.

The tree is too big for our stand and it just bent the legs up so that the tree sat on the bowl. We went and got a new stand this morning and the tree now stands. Hubby has decided that decorating the tree is a nighttime ritual and will not do it during the day. As our schedule stands, that leaves the tree undecorated until Tuesday evening. Poor naked tree.

The Most Perfect Man on Earth For Me

2007-11-29T21:16:00.000-06:00

I worked all day in the office today and I didn't get too much grumble from my Hubby. Seeing how it is our 4 year anniversary and all. When I walked through the door at 5 this afternoon, I pulled on the door to the laundry room that leads into the kitchen and thought for a moment that it was stuck. It wasn't stuck, just booby trapped with confetti poppers. I walked into my kitchen to noise makers and a clapper and this. We had agreed to not do presents, so I got all this and he got a measley card.

And because they don't make Happy 4th year Anniversary items, hubby made his own.
I sure do love that man. Happy Anniversary Baby!

Good Grief Charlie Brown

2007-11-28T12:51:00.000-06:00

Last night was spent watching Charlie Brown, (funnier than I remember and definitely some adult targeted humor) and making my annual Peppermint Bark. Chocolate and peppermint are all over the house. We also pulled down the Christmas decorations from the attic and will hopefully begin "decking the halls" this week. Friday we hope to go get our Christmas Tree. Not sure where we will put it as the place we had it last year now has all of Boo Bears toys. Oh well, she never plays with them anyways. Just the pots and pans.

The countdown to our vacation has begun, except I can't even begin to think about tomorrow as today has got me snowed under as it is. One day at a time, please. But, if I had the time to be counting down, the countdown would be 13 days until we go to Costa Rica. I cannot wait. This is much needed and much desired and I plan on doing much reading, loafing and eating. Yippee.

Tomorrow is hubby and I's 4 year anniversary. 4 whole years. It seems much longer than that, in the good way. We will be celebrating in low key style as we tend to do. It is also my step mother's birthday, so feel free to stop by here and wish her well. I will be sure to pass along any birthday wishes to her. She is sitting vigil at the hospital next to her sister this week so we don't know when we will get to celebrate with her.

I hope everyone is having a better day than me. I am having a blah day and can't seem to get my heart right despite all in my life being so blessed. We all have days like that I suppose.

The Christmas Spirit

2007-11-27T13:56:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite memories of childhood is watching a Charlie Brown Christmas and the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer specials. I can't wait to watch these now with my daughter.

This is what we will be doing tonight in our house. Snuggling up by a fire and watching this.

It's that time of year again...

2007-11-26T14:49:00.000-06:00

The holidays are officially upon us, if you didn't know that already with the influx of Turkey and shopping last week. This week in our family, we have:

One Anniversary
One Birthday
One Christmas Party
One Baby Dedication
10 lbs of mashed potatoes to cook
one freezer meal for a sick friend
one bake sale to cook for
4 family meals to prepare
20 hours of work
4 loads of laundry
9 loads of dishes
one very filthy floor
one very two year old
one doctor's appointment (let's hope it stays this way)
and a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee....

On a not so light note, my aunt is in the hospital with what seems to be meningitus. Please pray that the doctors will have wisdom as they diagnose and treat her and that she will heal quickly. Please also pray for my family that is down there that they will not get sick spending all that time in the hospital.

My grandmother seems to be dying. She had a stroke last week and just isn't the same anymore. She is probably not going to make it much longer and this leaves me feeling helpless this far away. She can't really talk on the phone as she doesn't really make sense anymore when she talks so I can't even really talk to her to tell her I love her. I have been praying about whether or not to go see her one last time. We thought she was dying in May and I made a last minute trip then to say goodbye and see her one last time. I don't know if I can do it again or if it would do any good for her or me. We don't believe she is in any pain so that is good, but I do pray that it isn't too difficult for her to not be able to make herself clear; being trapped in your own brain and not being able to speak to others seems painful to me. I hope that she knows how much I love her.

Seriously people...

2007-11-24T10:14:00.000-06:00

Things are bad when Sesame Street is now bad for your kids. Seriously. This story was on the local news last night and I just sat there appalled that they could even report the story with a straight face. Oscar the Grouch causing depression? I suppose if your child watched Oscar 24/7 it might have some adverse affects, but seriously.

Beat those Aggies!!!!

2007-11-23T11:33:00.000-06:00

Hook 'Em Horns!!!

Question

2007-11-21T09:54:00.000-06:00

When was the last time you read the Bible, Torah, Koran?

My Testimony: The Journey to Knowing Christ

2007-11-21T08:54:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! May you be blessed this season.

Warning: This is very long and detailed. I am a very analytical person and so as I was on the journey, I needed to find evidence of my new faith, proof to me if you will of the things that I was feeling and finding out.

My Journey to Knowing Christ

I am writing this to share with you my journey to faith. My journey has been long and at times very difficult, but I am now at a place that I feel peace and know that I am where I belong.

Growing up I had very little religious knowledge until I moved to Houston in the 5th grade. At that time, I began learning about Judaism and through the years until I graduated high school, I attended Hebrew School regularly and Synagogue on occasion. Although I went to Hebrew School at least once a week, I don’t remember anything I learned there. Being Jewish was something that I just was because my parents were and therefore I was. But it never held much meaning to me on a personal level. In fact, in high school and some of college, I called myself an agnostic or an atheist. I didn’t really know if God existed and if He did, I didn’t know anything about him. I had no relationship with Him to speak of that is for sure. The only things I could really tell you about being Jewish was that we did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah and that we celebrated different holidays than Christians. Some holidays I could try to relate what they meant to Judaism, but most of the time, I had to be reminded what the holiday we were celebrating was about. I am sure part of that was just being young and self-centered and not interested in remembering these things.

One day in college, I was walking through campus on my way to find out if I had passed a class. I stopped on the East Mall by the Tower and looked up and said to myself, “Please, God, just let me pass this class.” Nothing too profound there, but in that instant it became clear to me for the first time in my life that I believed there was a God. Why else would I be talking to him?

Now that I knew that I believed in God, I did little to pursue what that meant or to further my relationship with Him. I went along living my life the way I thought was best, with little regard to what place God had in my life. During these years, I would argue with Christians about the Bible and its validity. I argued that it was just a history book. That Jesus was just a really great man, but not the Messiah. I mistakenly thought that the Old Testament was the Torah and the New Testament was the Bible. I didn’t know that the Old Testament was actually more than just Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. I didn’t know that the Bible included the Old Testament and the New Testament, I thought it was just the New Testament. I argued against all that the Bible stood for, without knowing anything at all about it. I was naïve and stupid to argue against something I knew nothing about, I just never argued it to anyone who really knew much about it either, so I was never really challenged about my beliefs. A lawyer doesn’t go into court without studying all the facts, yet for years I had been walking into court blind so to speak without having ever read the Bible, yet arguing against it.

When I first met my husband, I did not know anything about his religious beliefs until day he told me that he was finding his faith again. He was not a Christian when I met him although that was his background, but it didn’t mean anything to him at that time. As we dated, he grew in his faith and was led to start reading the Bible more often. When we got married, we knew that our religious differences would be a difficult part of our marriage. We thought love would be enough to get us through those difficult times. In the past three years we have argued more over religion than anything else. When I got pregnant with our daughter our arguments increased because I grew worried about how we would raise our child (as did he). I worried about the view point of Christians and how we would separate my husband's viewpoint and mine.

During my pregnancy, my friend Tami lost her baby at 38 weeks and for the first time in my life the only thing I knew to do was to pray. I relied on God to help me with this difficult time and somehow I made it through my pregnancy without worrying more than any other mother that something horrible would happen to my baby. The death of Ethan caused me to rely on God like I never had before. Because Tami was a Christian and I wanted to help her grieve, I asked for Bible verses and Biblical advice that might help her in regards to what she was going through. Watching Tami go through such a horrible experience and come out the other side still loving and glorifying God and thanking Him for this experience in her life was a huge testament to the power of her faith.

A couple of months before Savannah was born, my husband had asked if I would just read the Bible with him. I agreed, but wanted to read from the beginning. The Old Testament was at least a little bit familiar to me. We started reading a little bit every once and awhile. It was interesting to hear how it all started in Genesis and it got me thinking more about who God was, but I found no real joy out of reading and I thought I wasn’t getting much out of it. But it turns out that I was. (Romans 10:17 “17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”)

When Boo Bear was about three months old my husband and I had one of our fights and we seemed to be at a standstill. I even was thinking that maybe our marriage wouldn’t work. My husband asked if I would talk to a couple from the Church because us talking to each other about religion always ended up in an argument and I had questions my husband couldn’t always answer. We would both get defensive and offensive and it never turned out good. The couple my husband asked me to speak to are in their 50’s; J. is from Chile and was raised Jewish and is now a Messianic Jew. Ja. is from Venezuela and was raised Catholic. They both attend the Church where my husband has gone for the past 2.5 years. On the day we had agreed to go over to their house, it was one of the hardest days I had experienced as a new mom. I had just had a really, really difficult day. It was not the ideal day for me to go talk to strangers about religion, but for some reason I did not back out. We went to J and Ja.’s house and I asked J. a lot of questions about how he became a Messianic Jew, how he dealt with having been brought up Jewish and reconciling what he knows about Jesus being the Messiah. I felt as though I had known them for years; they were like old friends and although I was nervous at first, I felt very comfortable with them. They have become very dear friends of ours.

After we met with J. and Ja., they asked if we would want to do a Bible Study with them on Genesis. I agreed and we started going once a week. We read a chapter and then answered questions. Each question would tie together pieces of Genesis with other verses in the Bible. It was amazing to see how it all connected. After awhile though, I started feeling like I was forcing myself to do Bible Study. I felt like I was trying to please everyone else and knew I was doing Bible Study for the wrong reasons. I felt like I should want to be doing it, not forcing myself so we stopped altogether and I stopped reading anything even on my own.

I would occasionally go to Church with hubby and initially did not like the Church at all. In my mind I had this idea of what church should be like. I of course did not want to feel bad about myself when I went to church and that is how I would feel leaving that Church. I would tell hubby that and he would tell me that the reason I would feel bad was because I hadn’t accepted the truth. The words sinner, saved, unbeliever were words that made me uncomfortable. I always thought that God was a “good God” and that he loved all people and that all people would go to heaven. This was the god that I had made up in my mind. I didn’t like hearing that wasn’t the case. I would soon find out that the God in the Bible is a just, holy, righteous, all powerful God. The God of the Bible is loving and kind, pure and perfect, Holy, unchangeable, eternal, incomprehensible, almighty, gracious, merciful, He forgives iniquity, rewards those who seek Him, and hates sin. All of these are attributes of God. We cannot pick and choose the ones we like best and ignore the others. God made us in His image (Genesis 1:27), and because He is holy, He wants us to be Holy. (1 Peter 1:15-16 “15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."(Leviticus 11:44) We are not to make God in our image, what we think we want Him to be.

God does want everyone to go to Heaven: 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” But Deuteronomy 32:22 says, “For a fire has been kindled by my wrath, one that burns to the realm of death below. It will devour the earth and it’s harvests and set afire the foundations of the mountains.” And Psalm 9:17 says, “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”

Romans 9:15-16
14What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."(Exodus 33:19) 16It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.

After awhile I decided to start reading the Bible again on my own. I finished Genesis and moved onto Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and I am now in 1 Kings. I would occasionally pull out my Torah that I got at my Bat Mitzvah to use as a reference. I wanted to see if they both said the same things, told the same story, and sure enough, they do. Except one night, I was reading something in Isaiah about the Messiah and went to reference it in the Torah. I was reading from about Chapter 52 which in my Torah goes to 12 verses. In the Bible it goes to 15 and then into Chapter 53. The Torah has no Chapter 53 at all. I found this to be strange. The Torah goes onto Chapters 54 and 55, but then skips to 60. I found it especially interesting that verses 13 – 15 of Chapter 52 and all of Chapter 53 describe in detail the Messiah (Jesus Christ). (Edited to add that some Torah's do have Chapter 53.)

This led me to realize that the question is not necessarily, “Do I believe that Jesus is the Son of God,” but “Is the Bible the Word of God?” If I believed that the Old Testament was the Word of God, then I had to believe that the New Testament is the Word of God.

History and Accuracy of The Bible
I used to argue that the Bible was just a nice history book. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t. Maybe the people who wrote it changed the story to enhance or embellish what really happened. Who wrote the Bible and how do we know it is true? What proof is there that these things really happened and so on and so forth. Is there any evidence other than the Bible that Jesus really existed and that the events of His life actually happened?

Interesting Facts:
-The Bible was printed in 1454 A.D. by Johannes Gutenberg who invented the "type mold" for the printing press. It was the first book ever printed.

-The Bible was written in three languages: Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek. (all languages that are still spoken in the world and can be understood)

-The Bible was written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit by over 40 different authors from all walks of life: shepherds, farmers, tent-makers, physicians, fishermen, priests, philosophers and kings. Despite these differences in occupation and the span of years it took to write it, the Bible is an extremely cohesive and unified book. (God's Word is perfectly related and interwined, each book depending on and relating to another)

-The entire New Testament as we know it today, was canonized before the year 375 A.D. The Old Testament had previously been canonized long before the advent of Christ. "Canon" is derived front the Greek word "Kanon," signifying a measuring rod. Thus, to have the Bible "canonized" meant that it had been measured by the standard or test of divine inspiration and authority. It became the collection of books or writings accepted by the apostles and leadership of the early Christian church as a basis for Christian belief. It is the standard by which all Christians throughout the ages live and worship.

-The Bible is the best selling book of all time. According to the British TIMES newspaper in 1996: "Forget modern British novelists and TV tie-ins, the Bible is the best-selling book every year. If sales of the Bible were included in best-seller lists, it would be a rare week when anything else would achieve a look in. It is wonderful, weird ... that in this godless age... this one book should go on selling, every month."

“If the Bible is God's message to us, we should hope its version of history is accurate. It is.
For example, the Bible reports that Jesus of Nazareth performed many miracles, was executed by the Romans, and rose from the dead. Numerous ancient historians corroborate the Bible's account of the life of Jesus and his followers:

Multiple historians wrote accounts of the life and death of Jesus which corroborate Christian reports with secular reports of Christ’s life/death/resurrection.

-Cornelius Tacitus (A.D. 55-120), an historian of first-century Rome, is considered one of the most accurate historians of the ancient world. An excerpt from Tacitus tells us that the Roman emperor Nero "inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class...called Christians. ...Christus [Christ], from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus...."2

-Flavius Josephus, a Jewish historian (A.D. 38-100+), wrote about Jesus in his Jewish Antiquities. From Josephus, "we learn that Jesus was a wise man who did surprising feats, taught many, won over followers from among Jews and Greeks, was believed to be the Messiah, was accused by the Jewish leaders, was condemned to be crucified by Pilate, and was considered to be resurrected."

-Suetonius, Pliny the Younger, and Thallus also wrote about Christian worship and persecution that is consistent with New Testament accounts.

-Even the Jewish Talmud, certainly not biased toward Jesus, concurs about the major events of his life. From the Talmud, "we learn that Jesus was conceived out of wedlock, gathered disciples, made blasphemous claims about himself, and worked miracles, but these miracles are attributed to sorcery and not to God."

This is remarkable information considering that most ancient historians focused on political and military leaders, not on obscure rabbis from distant provinces of the Roman Empire. Yet ancient historians (Jews, Greeks and Romans) confirm the major events that are presented in the New Testament, even though they were not believers themselves.”

Source:http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ

Interestingly our dates are still based on BC and AD-Why would the entire world base its dating system on “just a man named Jesus Christ” and thereby differentiate years by "Before Christ" and Anno "Domini"?

“There are more than 14,000 existing Old Testament manuscripts and fragments copied throughout the Middle East, Mediterranean and European regions that agree dramatically with each other. In addition, these texts agree with the Septuagint version of the Old Testament, which was translated from Hebrew to Greek some time during the 3rd century BC. The Dead Sea Scrolls, discovered in Israel in the 1940's and 50's, also provide phenomenal evidence for the reliability of the ancient transmission of the Jewish Scriptures (Old Testament) before the arrival of Jesus Christ.” - http://www.allabouttruth.org/origin-of-the-bible.htm

This chart shows the comparison of the New Testament to other ancient writings.

*McDowell, Josh. The New Evidence that Demands a Verdict (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1999), p. 55. -- http://www.everystudent.com/features/bible.html#arch

As you can see, the time gap between when New Testament was written and the record of the earliest copies of the New Testament texts were found is the smallest of the list above. Yet, people around the world trust the validity of the writings of Homer or Plato more than they do the Bible. Also note the sheer numbers of copies of the New Testament compared to the copies of other historical writings.

The Gospels, The Truth

Imagine if four of us sat down and wrote a story of an event that we all experienced together. We all would have different viewpoints, but essentially we would all write the same story. That is the case in the Gospels as well. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all told the same stories about Jesus, but just from different viewpoints.

The chart below shows some of the events that each Apostle wrote about.

Matthew and John knew Jesus personally, had traveled with Him and seen Him perform a variety of miracles. Mark and Luke were close associates of the Apostles and had direct access to the events they wrote about.

God used the prophets in the Old Testament and the Apostles in the New Testament to give us His message through the Bible, the Word of God. God gave us the Bible so that we would have His written Word to guide our lives. The people of Israel had God himself to guide them and they still disobeyed Him. God then sent his Son down to earth in the form of Man, (in a form that we could understand), as an example of how He wanted us to live our lives. And God has given us the Word to always turn to for guidance.

2 Samuel 22:31 31 “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.”

Isaiah 55:8-11
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

What about the Bible “getting lost in translation? This used to be one of my many arguments against Christianity and the Bible. Surely it lost some of its meaning being translated and passed along right? I was wrong.

For instance, we know the New Testament we have today is true to its original form because:

1. We have such a huge number of manuscript copies--over 24,000(this number reflects the number of total manuscripts of the New Testament including the text in the languages of Syriac, Latin, Coptic, and Aramaic more than any other ancient writing in all of antiquity).

2. Those copies have been cross checked and agree with each other, word for word, 99.5% of the time (most of the things that account for the variance are words missing a letter such as “thee” instead of “the”, the reversing of two words such as "Christ Jesus" instead of "Jesus Christ", or the absence of words that are insignificant such as “of,” “and,” and “or.”)

3. The dates of these manuscripts are very close to the dates of their originals. (unlike the rest of the historical writings in the above chart.

http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ

“The Holy Bible has been translated into 2,018 languages, with countless more partial translations, and audio translations (for unwritten languages). (This is an enormous amount of translations. In comparison, Shakespeare, considered by many to be the master writer of the English language, has only been translated into 50 languages.)” -- http://bibleresources.bible.com/afacts.php

Translations are actually made directly from original Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic source texts based on thousands of ancient manuscripts. These languages still exist today so millions of people can easily verify the accuracy of the text.

Dr. Ravi Zacharias, a visiting professor at Oxford University, also comments: "In real terms, the New Testament is easily the best attested ancient writing in terms of the sheer number of documents, the time span between the events and the documents, and the variety of documents available to sustain or contradict it. There is nothing in ancient manuscript evidence to match such textual availability and integrity."

The New Testament is humanity's most reliable ancient document. Its textual integrity is more certain than that of Plato's writings or Homer's Iliad. For a comparison of the New Testament to other ancient writings, click here.

The Old Testament has also been remarkably well preserved. Our modern translations are confirmed by a huge number of ancient manuscripts in both Hebrew and Greek, including the mid-20th century discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls. These scrolls hold the oldest existing fragments of almost all of the Old Testament books, dating from 150 B.C. The similarity of the Dead Sea manuscripts to hand copies made even 1,000 years later is proof of the care the ancient Hebrew scribes took in copying their scriptures.

http://everystudent.com/features/bible.html?gclid=COX8u8Koio0CFRIXZAodjhoPoQ
Romans 10:17 “17Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”

Does God Exist?

Did he create the heavens and earth and all things on it? What does that say about me?

“One question which inevitably comes up in a discussion of this nature is what is the origin of God? If God created matter/energy, and designed the systems that have propelled matter into its present arrangement, who or what accomplished that for God? Why is it any more reasonable to believe that God has always “been” than it is to say that matter has always “been”?” http://www.doesgodexist.org/

This page talks in detail about the scientific proof of the validity of God’s existence.

“The purpose of this booklet is to take a literal acceptance of what the Genesis record really says in the original language and compare it with the scientific evidence--the purpose being to see how closely they match.”

Does God Exist?
1. The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today. (example of the watch without a watch maker, nothing is made without a designer)
2. The human brain's complexity shows a higher intelligence behind it. (Could chance really create a human body that functions like ours, or a brain that functions so highly like ours?)
3. "Chance" or "natural causes" are insufficient explanations.
4. To state with certainty that there is no God, a person has to ignore the passion of an enormously vast number of people who are convinced that there is a God. (This is displayed in the radical life changes that are apparent in true believers)
5. We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him. (I know this personally now.)
6. Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God pursuing us. (He gave his only Son to die for us)
http://www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html (items in quotations are my comments)

Romans 1:18-20 says “18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”
God has shown us in the things he has made (creation in Genesis) that he exists and that he is eternal and divine. This site has a great explanation in short detail on some of the amazing things that point to God’s existence.

There are so many things in this world that lead me to believe in God. The way women are made to have babies, the way certain animals in different parts of the world differ slightly to endure their environment. There are some amazing examples of God’s design in food. The average ear of corn has 800 kernels, arranged in 16 rows. There is one piece of silk for each kernel; Striped watermelons always have an even number of stripes; Citrus fruits always have an even number of sections. These are examples of God in existence, in all He created.

Some people try to explain creation without God. They call this the theory of evolution. Webster’s New World Dictionary defines theory as “1 A speculative plan 2 a formulation of underlying principles of certain observed phenomena which has been verified to some degree 3 the principles of an art or science rather than it’s practice 4 a conjecture; guess”

Just as a watch cannot be made without a watch-maker, nothing in this world was made without God. The chances of evolution are like the chance of a tornado tearing through a junkyard and assembling a 747. All the pieces to build the plane might be there, but without a designer, it just isn’t possible. This is essentially what believers in the Big Bang Theory are saying, that something went bang and all these highly complex, highly intelligence beings and things were created, just like that.

God is the ultimate designer. He is eternal and beyond anything our brains can fathom. To try and box him into our understanding and knowledge is a mistake. That would be making God in our image instead of the other way around.

Discovering My Sin
When I finally realized that I did believe in God and I did believe that the Bible is His Word, I then had some tough times ahead of me, for this is when I had to face my sin, something I had been avoiding for a long time. People call sin all kinds of things -- mistakes, unawareness, ignorance, circumstances. I called sin "normal" - everybody does it, right? Well, that part is true, everybody does it. Since Adam and Eve, we live in a fallen world. God gave Adam and Eve everything they needed, but Satan tempted them and caused them to sin, throwing us all into sinful lives. God says that even sin that is unintentional still has to be atoned for.

Numbers 15:22-31
22 "Now if you unintentionally fail to keep any of these commands the LORD gave Moses- 23 any of the LORD's commands to you through him, from the day the LORD gave them and continuing through the generations to come- 24 and if this is done unintentionally without the community being aware of it, then the whole community is to offer a young bull for a burnt offering as an aroma pleasing to the LORD, along with its prescribed grain offering and drink offering, and a male goat for a sin offering. 25 The priest is to make atonement for the whole Israelite community, and they will be forgiven, for it was not intentional and they have brought to the LORD for their wrong an offering made by fire and a sin offering. 26 The whole Israelite community and the aliens living among them will be forgiven, because all the people were involved in the unintentional wrong. 27 'But if just one person sins unintentionally, he must bring a year-old female goat for a sin offering. 28 The priest is to make atonement before the LORD for the one who erred by sinning unintentionally, and when atonement has been made for him, he will be forgiven. 29 One and the same law applies to everyone who sins unintentionally, whether he is a native-born Israelite or an alien. 30 " 'But anyone who sins defiantly, whether native-born or alien, blasphemes the LORD, and that person must be cut off from his people. 31 Because he has despised the LORD's word and broken his commands, that person must surely be cut off; his guilt remains on him.' "

The first sin was committed by Adam and Eve when they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 2:16-17 “16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

This implies that they would not have had to experience death had they not sinned against God. They would have had eternal life with God, but because they sinned, they were separated from God and condemned to death. God is righteous and He would not be righteous if He did not follow through with what He said He would do. Adam and Eve both eventually died as has every person since them. No one escapes it, no matter how rich, popular, good-looking, etc.

Romans 5:12-13 “12Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned— 13for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law.”

Romans 3:23 tells us that every one of us sins. “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” and Romans 6:23 tells us the consequences of sin, “23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 5:19
19For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

Another example of God’s righteousness regarding sin is the fact that after God used Moses to lead the people of Israel all the way to the edge of the land that He had promised them, God did not allow Moses to enter due to what would seem to some to be an understandable moment of frustration, but to God was disobedience and failure to trust in Him In Numbers 20:7-8. “7The LORD said to Moses, 8Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.’”

In Numbers 20:9-11 Moses disobeys God. “9So Moses took the staff from the LORD's presence, just as he commanded him. 10He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?" 11Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.

Numbers 20:12 12But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

Because Moses hit the rock instead of speaking to it, and in doing so, disobeyed God, God would not allow Moses or Aaron to enter the land He had promised the Israelites because of their disobedience.

God has given us rules in a way that seems simple, The Ten Commandments, but when you really read each one and think about what each one really means, and what it means to obey each one, you see how we are sinful by nature because we cannot keep God’s Commandments. (The only Man to ever live a completely sinless life was Jesus Christ)

God prefaces the Ten Commandments with "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” (Exodus 20:2) God is reminding the people that He is the one that brought them out of Egypt. God heard their cries for help and brought them out of Egypt. In return, God expected reverence and obedience. God gave us these Commandments so that we might honor him in our actions. The people had just left a land full of false gods and idols, so God addresses these issues first.

Exodus 20:3-17
You shall have no other Gods before me.

You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Note: this is the only Commandment with a promise.)

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s."

At first glance, I thought, I keep those Commandments, I’m a good person, certainly better than a lot of people. But upon closer inspection, I was surprised to find how many I break and how often. For example, #1 & 2. Upon closer inspection, I realized that anything that is more important than God becomes an idol in my life. There have been plenty of times in my life that my selfishness has been my God, my idol. It has been said that an idol is anything that you are willing to sin in order to get or will sin if you don’t get it. I have broken #3 plenty of times. #4 I rarely have followed. Another Commandment I have broken is #8. Note that God does not say, “I will be lenient on these commandments. Stealing a pen is okay, but not a car.” No God says “Do not steal.” Plain and simple. I have definitely had troubling keeping #5. I have issues with #9 which basically says do not lie. God does not differentiate between big lie or little lie, he just says do not lie. I also have issues with #10. I occasionally will wish I had something my friends or someone else has. Lamenting that friends have better furniture than me or an easier job and so on and so forth is coveting. Even #6 and 7 I have been guilty of, because even our thoughts are subject to God’s commandments.(It is what is in our hearts that counts) If we let anger overtake us, thinking in a moment of anger that we might wish someone dead, we are committing murder in our hearts. (Matthew 5:20-22 21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,[c]' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. If we admire another man or woman or even think lustful thoughts about anyone we are guilty of adultery. Matthew 5:27-28 -- 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

As you can see, I have broken all Ten Commandments through out my life and continue to do so no matter how hard I try. I am thankful that God is a merciful God and that He has forgiven my sins through the death of Jesus Christ. I am a sinner and always will be, but I will strive to be more like Christ and the Lord will use trials and events in my life to make that happen. He will call me on my sin and force me to face it and turn from it.

Psalm 51:5 states,
“5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”
We are sinful from the day we are conceived. It is our human nature. Adam and Eve’s sin caused us all to be sinners.

In the Old Testament, God spends countless verses explaining the different offerings that were to be given for each type of sin and the ways to act as a community. God lays out clearly how we should act and what to do when we sin. Offerings were very specific and all offerings of animals had to be unblemished. Offerings of all other things had to be the top portion, the best of the grain, etc. God’s system shows us that a life has to be taken for sin. Sacrifices were for worship and forgiveness of sin. There were five main offerings, Burnt Offerings, Grain Offerings, Fellowship Offerings, Sin Offerings, and Guilt Offerings. Leviticus 1-7 details the offerings and how they are to be performed. I imagine the people back then spent the majority of their time atoning for their sin by giving sacrifices or worshiping God.

All of the offerings in the Old Testament are a foreshadowing of Jesus Christ being the ultimate lamb, the ultimate sacrifice. Old Testament offerings had to be unblemished, Jesus led an unblemished life, a life without sin and He is the only human to have ever done this. God sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins so that we would no longer have to make continuous offerings for our sins. God came down from heaven in the form of man (Jesus Christ) to atone for the sins of many. Hebrews 9:28 “so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.” John 3:16-17 “16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” The ultimate offering has been made.

Isaiah 53(note this is the chapter I found to be missing from my Torah) in the Old Testament foreshadows the coming of Jesus (the Messiah) and what He would be like and how and why He would die.
Isaiah 53 (comments and emphasis mine)
1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. (he would not outwardly look like the Messiah; that would have made it easier to follow him because he “looked” like what a human mind would conjure a Messiah to be; remember God's ways are not our ways.)
3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Jesus suffered greatly, was tested, but never faltered, never sinned) Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, (He died for our sins, God poured out his wrath against sin, all sins for all time for all people on His one and only Son so that we might have life, a life with God.) yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Jesus dying on the cross enabled God to forgive our sins, past, present and future.)
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. (Even during his crucifixion, Jesus did not speak against those that tortured him, in fact he prayed to God for them. Luke 34, “Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”)
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life (be raised from the dead) and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many (note it does not say all, for all will not choose to follow Him and believe in Him), and made intercession for the transgressors.

Hebrews 9:14 “14How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God. 15For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new Covenant that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance – now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 “8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.” (If we could get to heaven just by being good people or doing good things, where would the line be and what if someone changed their ways, would they be condemned for how they used to be or how they are now; the point is, none of us is perfect, can be perfect, etc, it's not possible, therefore we must accept this wonderful gift from God that is His Son as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins)

Hebrews 10:12 “But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God.”

John 3:16-18 reads, “16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.”

Christ is a priest forever, unlike any other priests, because He is the only one who can save us from our sin. Jesus was God in human form Hebrews 1:1-2 “1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.” (The Word is Jesus, substitute the word "Jesus" for "Word" in the above verses.)

Hebrews 7: 20-28
“20And it was not without an oath! Others became priests without any oath, 21but he became a priest with an oath when God said to him: "The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind: 'You are a priest forever.' 22Because of this oath, Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant. (The new covenant or second covenant)
23Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; 24but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. 25Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.
26Such a high priest meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. 27Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself. 28For the law appoints as high priests men who are weak; but the oath, which came after the law, appointed the Son, who has been made perfect forever.”

Because our sin separates us from God, we cannot have a direct relationship with Him, except through Jesus. God is holy and cannot sin, be around sin, entertain sin, nothing. In the Old Testament this was shown when Moses asked God to show him His glory.

Exodus 33:21- 23 “21 Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. 22 When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

God wouldn’t even let Moses, said to be the second most humble man ever (next to Jesus) see His glory. Yet, Moses was so close to God, that when he came down from Mount Sinai, his face was so radiant it scared the people. (Exodus 34:29-30)

Jesus explains how we can have a relationship with God and the way in which that relationship is possible.

John 14: 6 “6Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” (The only way to heaven is through faith in Christ, not by works or good deeds or being a good person)

The Holy Spirit works in my life

The changes that have occurred in my life over the past 6 months have amazed me and taken me by surprise. I am a completely different person and many of the changes have been evidenced in my language, my thoughts, how I choose to spend my free time, without me really making any major life change except accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

In the Old Testament, God put the Spirit of Himself into a person for a time or purpose, for example with Saul in 1 Samuel 10:10 “When they arrived at Gibeah, a procession of prophets met him; the Spirit of God came about him in power and he joined them in prophesying.”

Numbers 24:2 “2When Balaam looked out and saw Israel encamped tribe by tribe, the Spirit of God came upon him”

With the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is now in all of us if we believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The Holy Spirit will fill our hearts if we will open our hearts and allow that to happen.

John 14:16-18
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

The Holy Spirit is not a vague, ethereal shadow, nor an impersonal force. He is a person equal in every way with God the Father and God the Son. He is considered to be the third member of the Godhead. Jesus said to His apostles...
"All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matt. 28:18-20)

“God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And all the divine attributes ascribed to the Father and the Son are equally ascribed to the Holy Spirit. When a person becomes born again by believing and receiving Jesus Christ (John 1:12-13; John 3:3-21), God resides in that person through the Holy Spirit (1Cor. 3:16). The Holy Spirit has intellect (1Cor. 2:10-11), emotion (Rom. 15:30), and will (1Cor. 12:11).” -

http://everystudent.com/forum/hspirit.html?gclid=COqvpcLZk40CFRlmWAodCGLQog

I truly know that the Holy Spirit has been working in me. For about 6 months to a year now I have been praying for God to show me the truth in regards to my beliefs, whatever the truth was. If that meant that I would become a Christian, then so be it. I put it in God’s hands and trusted Him enough to lead me where He wanted me to be. As I mentioned above, I did Bible Study for a little while, answering the questions “correctly”, but not really getting the whole truth out of what I was reading. When I truly let go and let God take over my life, that is when reading the Bible changed for me. I all of a sudden saw things clearly. Things that I had read before, but gotten nothing out of, now impacted me greatly. The words held different meaning, it was like I had been reading in a different language before and now I understood that language.

About 8 months ago I decided to go to Church with my husband one week. I don’t know why this week was any different than any other week, but I felt led to go. At Church they mentioned a ladies Bible Study that was coming up for the summer. I later mentioned to my husband that I thought I might like to go. These things came out of my mouth without me thinking about them really or realizing what I was doing. Why would I want to go to Bible Study?

I started ladies Bible Study at the beginning of June and missed only one all summer. We read a book called Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick that helped me to see the idols that I make for myself and the things we worship other than God. It was a great way for me to connect with other women who struggle with the same things I struggle with. It was also an eye opening experience to be around Christian women and learn that a)Christians really are that at peace and nice because they are believers and have the faith, b)are sinners just like me and struggle with many of the same things I struggle with and c)learn more about God and having a relationship with Him through these women and their experiences/struggles.

At the same time, I started going to Church every Wednesday evening. Where as before, the Pastor would rub me the wrong way with his preaching, now I was learning from it. It was touching my heart and teaching me things. I was then asked to volunteer at Vacation Bible School. This was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn along with the kids the story of Jonah. I learned more than the kids I think.

Then I decided I would start going on Sunday mornings as well as Wednesdays. So now I was going to Church Wednesday nights, Friday mornings for Bible Study and Sundays. Before, I never wanted to go to Church because it took up my free time. Before, the words sinner, unbeliever, and saved made my skin crawl. All of a sudden, my heart had been changed and it can only be attributed to the Holy Spirit working in my heart to show me the truth. I know that sounds far fetched, but it is the only way I can explain it. All of those decisions regarding going to Church were made without thought, without intent, without my husband encouraging me to do so. Nothing in my life had changed, yet everything in my life had changed.

This summer I was having an issue in my life and wanted some counseling on it. I knew that I wanted Biblical counseling because that is now where I get my guidance. I met with the Pastor from the church and he gave me some wonderful advice. I discussed with him some of my lingering questions about Jesus and his explanation seemed to clear up the last bit of doubt in my mind. After that point, I knew that I had become a Christian, a believer. I know that God created this world, including me. I know that God sent His only Son to earth to teach the world how to live a holy life and to die so that our sins would be forgiven. I know that Jesus rose from the dead to prove that He was truly the Son of God. I know that The Bible is the infallible, inerrant Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17 -- 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.) and that the Lord gave us The Bible as an instruction manual on how to live our lives, as a history to remind us of His promises and His righteousness, His Holiness, His expectations. I know these things in my heart.

Before I became a believer, I had many misconceptions about Christianity. I thought that Christians were zealots, overly strict, stifled by the rules of some “book.” What I have found about being a Christian is that it is the most freeing experience I have ever had. I have had such peace in my life since June 20th when I became a believer. I know that my life will not always be easy, but I can always be thankful for what happens because I know that God has a plan for me and that His plan is good and that any trials He gives me are a direct result of my sin and are to be used to conform me more to the image of His Son.

Ephesians 1:4-14
“4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.”

All the questions that I detailed and answered here were questions that I thought I had all the answers to before I began this journey. The problem was, I never really thought those questions through very well, nor did I really think about the answers to those questions in any detail. When I finally started digging into the whys of my beliefs, I began to realize that my beliefs were not based on anything of substance. My decision to become a Christian is the result of me being led by God to look at my beliefs and putting an effort into answering those questions I had about God, who He is and why do I exist (to glorify God).

This transformation was not an easy one. At times, I struggled immensely with pride, with letting go of the person I had worked so hard to become. With letting go of my selfish desires, with facing the fact that I am a sinner and that I do need a Savior. I had to fight against everything I had ever known. We cannot do this without the help of the Lord, but with His strength all things are possible. Matthew 19:26 -- Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I am so thankful to God that He led me to this place in my life and I look forward to the ways in which I can live my life to glorify Him. I cannot tell you how much peace this decision has brought to my life. I am not saying that I don’t have hard times or that I don’t struggle daily, but I have peace that all things are in God’s plan and that His plan is good and that I should be thankful in all things (1Thessalonians 5:16-18 “16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”). This gives me peace. I also have strength in prayer now. Knowing that I am not alone, that God is with me at all times, helps build me up in times of need.

If you have made it this far, I thank you for reading and hope that if you have any questions or want clarification on anything that you will email me at shootersstation (at) gmail (dot) com or leave a comment. All I ask is that you be respectful and nice. Thank you for reading.

Emotions

2007-11-20T13:56:00.000-06:00

This scares me.

This and this make me laugh.

This makes me think.

This comforts me.

This also makes me think.

This gives me hope. And Awe.

Question

2007-11-19T21:48:00.000-06:00

While listening to something with hubby last night, this question popped into my head:

If God/Jesus doesn't exist, why is His name the only one ever taken in vain?

Why doesn't anyone ever say, Muhommad Dammit or Joseph Smith instead of Jesus Christ. Or what about Oh My Buddha?

Why is the Lord's name used instead of any other?

Perhaps He is the One true God?

Monday mmmmblah...

2007-11-19T14:41:00.000-06:00

I'm having one of those Mondays. One of those days where I don't want to do anything but crawl back into bed and start again tomorrow with the right attitude. I have 10 trillion things to do, a major project at work that is almost done, would be done if I could just figure out why this one little stupid number is not matching up with the formula, and we leave town on Wednesday for 4 days. Joy of the holidays, didn't I just say something about loving it and keeping it and not being all bah humbug about it all like I usually am? I am determined to get back into that mode.

So, here's my best smile and my best effort at being up beat and not ... sorry, had to stop for a moment there... Boo Bear had been playing with the kitchen timer and it just went off, giving me a heart attack. How's that for comedic relief!

Smile, eventually your heart catches up with your mouth.

The holidays and salvation

2007-11-18T13:01:00.001-06:00

That title may lend itself quite well to a different type of post, but for me today, that title has to do with the season and my mood.

I am usually the kind of person that both loves the holidays and dreads the holidays. I used to hate listening to Christmas music one second before Christmas Eve. The stores and their stupid holiday displays drove me crazy, especially so early in October! The grocery store and the chaos that it is during the holiday season drove me up the wall and I avoided such areas like the plague.

This year: I am already listening to Christmas music and enjoying every minute. I went to the store today and reveled in the chaos that is the holidays. For it means a time for family and food and thanksgiving and joy and that pleases me. I was calm and not rude and stressed yesterday at the mall as I drove around looking for a parking place. I am not sure who this person is, but it can only be attributed to my new salvation. Nothing else could possibly have altered my personality so greatly!

I pray that the Lord continues to sustain me in this holiday time as we come upon holidays and anniversaries and birthdays and more parties than we generally care to attend, only because we have so many and although that should be a blessing, in years passed, we have alwasy grumbled about having to go to another party and buy another under $20 gift and make another dish. Instead, we should be thankful we have friends and family to spend this time of year with.

I know that I am. What are you thankful for this year, that you might not have been last year?

SPH: I love (Blank)

2007-11-17T16:18:00.001-06:00

I love... my...

V to the A to the C to the...

2007-11-16T19:53:00.000-06:00

A to the T to the I to the O to the N.

VACATION

It is looking like we will be going on vacation. I just wrote a check for a deposit on a house in Costa Rica. We are getting a totally sweet deal, (yes, I just said, totally sweet - because I am 80's cool like that.) We are going with friends, one of whom works for a major airline, so we are getting buddy tickets, not free, but cheap. Basically for two people, airfare and lodging we are paying, well not much and that of course is why we can even afford to go. I have struggled with going on this vacation for a variety of reasons. In fact, we had been planning it 4 months ago fervently and then decided that we just couldn't do it. As we near the birth of this second baby, we will be struggling more financially. Mainly due to the fact that this time I have no maternity leave pay. It will be a good test to see how we do on just one income and to see if I can spend some time building Announce The Bump to help out at least a little bit. I really struggled with going on vacation going into a season where we will be struggling, but I also struggled with the fact that we have not had a vacation since 3 months before Boo Bear was born and in light of the fact that we are about to have another one, it's been a long time and it's going to be a long time since my husband and I have gotten to spend some quality time away from work, family, etc.

I also struggled because of not seeing my family that lives far away this year. We have gone back and forth about whether it was really feasible to go on vacation and to visit family. I am still hoping to get to NM to see my Mom and my sister and grandmother for sure and we have not totally ruled that out, but this trip was just too good a deal to pass up and we need it badly.

So, in about 3 weeks, I will be sitting here and drinking this (virg*in - bummer) and on my birthday too!

Invasion of the Little People

2007-11-15T16:31:00.000-06:00

Beware of the little people. Or not.

Our new favorite pastime

2007-11-14T10:49:00.000-06:00

Pot and Pan inventory. She screams if we try to put them away.

Shocked and Awed

2007-11-12T17:16:00.000-06:00

Is anyone else freaking out because it's already November 12th? Does anyone realize that Thanksgiving is next week? Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Thankfulness

2007-11-11T15:12:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I could not find the words to express my feelings towards my Baptism. Today, I am given the words. Today I get Baptized. More about that shortly.

Today as you know is Veterans Day and I want to thank all of those that willingly serve our country so that we have the freedoms that we do. Today is also the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. These seemingly distinct events have more to do with each other than I ever could have imagined. This morning a friend of ours who serves in the armed forces was at Church and had brought 3 of his fellow soldiers with him. As the pastor asked them to stand to be recognized as those who serve our country and fight for our freedoms, I was overcome by gratitude to them, but also to God that we live in country where I can sit in a Church and worship the way I want to worship. That I do not have to worry about persecution for my beliefs as so many around the world do. I am thankful that so many men and women have fought and continue to fight for the freedoms that we have in this country and I am so thankful that God chose for me to live in this country.

The service this morning was very powerful starting when the Pastor asked all the veterans to stand. The Pastor then discussed the persecution of Christians throughout the world. It's amazing that 70% of the world's Christians do not live in countries where they are free to practice their religion freely. 70%. We here in America take it for granted that we can go to Church when and where we want and we don't have to worry about being killed for doing so. One study said that 164,000 Christians were killed for their faith in one year. That comes out to 400 people per day. Wow! We were shown a video re-enactment of the story of a woman named "Sarah" from China who was beaten and tortured and imprisoned for 6 years for having been the editor of an underground Christian newspaper. Ironically, in her years in prison, she made Christmas lights to be sent to the US. The story was horrific and I sat there so thankful that I live where I can Baptized. Where I have that freedom. Where those that hate Christians can freely speak against them. Where anyone can speak their mind and not be persucted in such horrific ways. I was humbled by this. I was anxious and nervous about this evening as I knew this was the first time that my real family and my Church family would meet. I was nervous because I knew that the things that not only I would be saying in my testimony, but the testimonies of others, would be hard for my family to hear. I was also overwhelmed by the power of the evening. This was a big step for me, an outward sign of my inward belief, but I also understood on some level that hearing the testimonies tonight could have some very powerful effects on those who do not believe in Christ. I know that God uses events such as Baptism's like this to change lives and I can only hope that my testimony has touched the life of someone that was there tonight.

That may not have done how I felt today justice at all, but I can tell you that I am blessed today.

It is amazing to me that the name Jesus Christ can cause such hatred. If He isn't real, if He doesn't mean anything, if He is not the Son of God, then why do so many people hate Him? Why are people willing to kill those that believe in Him. It is also amazing to me that people will die for Him. The Pastor told the true story of a group of people who had gathered for a Bible study. The police busted in and threw a Bible on the ground and said that everyone must spit on the Bible or they would be shot to death. Many people spit on the Bible as they ran out of the Church. One person knelt down and picked up the Bible wiping the spit from the cover and said, "Forgive those that have spit on God's Word". The last sound he heard was the gunshot that killed him. I wonder if I were put in a similar situation, could I do the same thing. Would I have the courage to stand up for my faith. To stand up for my Savior.

Photography

2007-11-09T18:53:00.000-06:00

Here are some of my favorite shots from recent times. Sorry, I don't have much to post, I'm pooped. We cleaned all day and I still have stuff to do.
Enjoy.

The Little Why's of Life

2007-11-08T10:05:00.001-06:00

Why, after over 10 years with my lovely watch, did I have to go and lose it? I miss you watch, my wrist is lonely.

Why do I always keep the heel of the bread in the bag, even though I never use it. It just gets in the way of the "good" bread.

Why does my child when I give her a coloring book, make a mark on every single page instead of coloring on one page.

Why do I procrastinate? No really, why? Nevermind, I'll ask you later.

Why is it that the only reason I can remember a colleague's phone number is because it has the same last four digits as a high school boyfriend? But I can't remember my own telephone number from high school.

Why does everything happen at once? Why do multiple days keep attacking me at once and why does that far off date get here so fast?

Why are assumptions such a difficult thing to master and get rid of and why are we so disappointed when those assumptions are not met, even when we know they are assumptions and not reality?

Why aren't there more hours in a day? Would we waste those too on worthless things?

What Why's are you pondering today?

Blame it on the pregnancy or something

2007-11-07T10:17:00.000-06:00

I missed a meeting this morning. With my boss. On a good day this is a bad thing. But due to my work at home status and the fact that my house is between my boss' house and the office, once a week, she stops by my house in the morning and we have a weekly meeting. I know, I know, I am truly blessed and have no reason to complain about anything ever.

Last week we canceled this particular meeting because I am in the middle of a huge project. The annual project which really continues to earn me my paycheck. Yes, I do other things throughout the year, but this particular project is the reason for my job title. Yada, yada. So this week I assumed (we all know all about that word) that we were not meeting again. la tee da.

So... where was I. Yes, I didn't sleep well last night, finally falling asleep on the couch about 6:00 after being up 4 or 5 times, only to be awoken 45 minutes later by the sound of a waterfall. I tried to ignore it. It sounded like the washing machine or dish washer. Couldn't be it. I finally figured out it through sleep stupor and process of illimination, the sprinklers. What I could not figure out what was it was so darn loud.

I finally got up to see what the noise was all about. I had left the window in the kitchen/dining area open and there happens to be a sprinkler head right there. Fabulous. I didn't bother checking for damage, I just closed the window and went back to bed.

All that to say, my darling hubby got up with the Boo Bear and fed her breakfast and I crawled out of bed at about 8:30. Poor me, I know. I threw on some gouchos, a long sleeve t-shirt, brushed my teeth (thankfully) and threw my hair in a poinytail. 15 minutes later right after hubby walked out the door, I was standing at the kitchen sink throwing up when I looked up to see my boss in the driveway.

I froze momentarily and then did the frantic, do I have time to put pants on/makeup/real clothes/shoes/anything!!!!! Nope, answer the door. On another tangent, because I cannot tell a story without them, the front foyer is never used for anything but toys, because we don't use the front door and it's the only place in the living room area for the toys. When the door bell rang, I began the foot sweep of trying to clear enough room to even get the door open at all.

I apologized profusely for my appearance, for the lack of unpreparation, for being a total loser and for assuming something I shouldn't have. She was very gracious, thank the Lord, and said no problem, we could talk about everything on the phone.

I feel like a dunce. I am a dunce. It's amazing they pay me at all.

Full Emmersion: Bigger than Words

2007-11-06T21:04:00.000-06:00

There is something huge happening in my life this week. Very big to me. So big, even, it's bigger than I can really put into words.

I have tried to write about this all week and haven't been able to. Tomorrow I get Baptized. I am excited and happy for this day to finally be here. I am also nervous and anxious. My Dad and Stepmom will be there, my aunt will be there and a handful of friends. I cannot even begin to put into words the feelings I am having regarding tomorrow, but I hope after tomorrow to be able to tell you more.

World's most boring post... Ever

2007-11-06T20:38:00.001-06:00

I got nothing. Nothing at all really.

Today consisted of:

work
child meltdown #1
flu shot
ouch
child meltdown #2
work
work
work
work
fold clothes
work
work
dinner at Nana's
child meltdown #3
blog
nighty night

Spinning

2007-11-05T14:59:00.000-06:00

It's one of those days. I am trying to only focus on one day at a time, but I am failing miserably. I have a work deadline looming next Friday and I am faaareeaking out a little bit about getting it all done. On top of that, I am trying to stay on top of the house work and take care of my family all while continuing to do all the other little things that just pop up like doctor's appointments, etc.

I know that tomorrow will be a different day, but today, I feel like I am running full speed and not getting anywhere at all.

Pithy Post Title

2007-11-04T14:22:00.001-06:00

I gots nothing. Nothing at all. So have some mundane randomness.

I was pre-registering at the hospital website for this baby to be born (no time soon please!) and just love it when I get to the questions about what I am going to be coming in for. For some reason the question, "Diagnosis?" seems silly to me in this particular instance. Um, pregnant?

There is a possibility that hubby and I might be getting to go on a real live, adult only vacation in the next month. I might just keel over and die if it happens. After the vacation of course. ;-)

Did I mention that my daughter can pick out her letters from A to E? I know, smart huh? Or maybe not, but I was pretty impressed. Her little voice is so cute, saying each letter. Technically she doesn't say E so much as when you point to E, she says, "Elmo."

And that's all for today folks!

The Faces of Motherhood

2007-11-04T13:47:00.001-06:00

I do realize that I have been cheating the last couple of days. Just some mere quick words or photos to meet my obligation. I will try to do better. Promises, promises...

**********************************

Yesterday I met my parents half way between our two houses to exchange Boo Bear for a night of dates with my husband and quiet for me today. Not really so much for that as my parents begged to keep her for a night. Hubby and I got to spend a wonderful evening out together. We went to eat at a new Italian restaurant that was quite good. Service was mediocre, but the food and my good mood made up for that. Then, so as not to waste the time without child, we took a trip to Sam's to get diapers. But we took the time to stroll leisurely through the isles, holding hands and looking at things that are on our "Yeah, Right" Wish list. Things like 57" flat screen TV's and laptops. Okay, so the laptop is something we might actually get some day, but I don't see us ever buying a TV like that. We just don't watch enough TV to even warrant that kind of spend, and we have two perfectly good TV's as it is. We're simple people, with simple wants generally.

One thing I noticed when we got home was the silence. With child(ren) in the house, there is never true quiet. There is always an underlying current, a buzz of noise, and expectant feeling. Even when they are sleeping, we as parents are always poised to jump at a moments notice. No matter how long at a time they sleep, it is never truly quiet. I felt out of place, like something was missing (she was), listening to the quiet.

Today getting ready for Church and on the drive to Church I noticed it even more. No jabbering from the back seat. No one for me to talk to you. No turning around to see her expectant face, waiting for me to tell her what something is or acknowledge her when she says, "Cuck" (Truck) or "Caaaahhhs" (Cars) or my favorite, "pahl-puss" (school bus). No looking at her bouncing head and smiling face when Toby Mac's Burn for You comes on the radio. On the way home after eating a quiet, peaceful breakfast with my husband, I drove home in silence to a quiet house. As always when I have time without my daughter, I have trouble deciding what to do first. Do I clean, do I run errands, do I relax? What to do, what to do?

So, what did I do? I cleaned the kitchen, swept and mopped the disgusting floors and I am now chilling. Ahhh...

Your turn: What do you do when the kids are gone?

What's all the Buzz About

2007-11-03T21:12:00.000-06:00

Token Halloween shot, 4 days late. She has three different costumes. Here are two. The Texas Cheerleader outfit really isn't a costume so much as a way of life. Hook Em!

Go Horns!
Buzzzzzzzz!

What was that I said about posting all month?

2007-11-01T20:06:00.000-06:00

Yeah, that! It's only November 1st and already I have writer's block... We went to church last night so I don't even have any cute token Halloween pictures to post. That would have been easy. So, I guess I will just have share these other cute shots of Boo Bear and I did finally take a tummy shot. Here you go, my first post of NaBloPoMo. Exciting, huh?

My little cutie!

Her latest "trick," surprised face.

And the token belly shot, 20 weeks. Hello Bellybean.
Sorry it's fuzzy, the counter just wouldn't hold still.

The Joys of Parenthood

2007-10-31T10:01:00.000-06:00

These days I find myself spewing words that I never thought I would say for any reason before I had children.

Things like these gems have flown from my mouth recently.

"Get your hands out of your pants." Said as she has her hand down the back of her diaper. Don't go there!

"Would you like for me to wrap up teddy in the blanket?" Said when she plopped a huge teddy bear and a blanket in my lap and walked away.

"Quit licking the grocery cart."

"Get off the floor!!!" Said as she wipes her entire body across the floor (which of course is not clean!) She does this everywhere, the grocery store, someone else's house, outside.

Oh the joys.

We had a little bit of a scare last night. As I was getting gas on my way to my Grandmother-in-laws' for dinner, my MIL noticed that Boo Bear's top right two teeth looked odd. I climbed in the car to get a better peek. Sure enough, the gum looked like it was swollen and was covering almost completely her top middle tooth and the one to the right of that. I tried scraping at it gently thinking it might just be food or something. Nothing came off. I was a little worried, but said I would wait until I had a chance to brush her teeth. We got to dinner and I caught a glimpse of her teeth again and it really had me worried.

I'm going through all her recent tumbles trying to remember if she hit her mouth. I can't remember one in which this happened. I am going through the scenerios of dead teeth and all that that might mean. I am trying to not freak out and not think of the fact that we have no dental insurance, that we are still paying off a large amount of ER bills (2 visits) and trying to just trust that it is all in God's hands and that nothing is the end of the world when it comes to teeth.

I was doing pretty good until hubby got there and he took a look and was horrified. We looked up at the roof of her mouth and that was gray too. It was really scary looking, yet we could not figure out how in the world she could have hit her mouth that hard and had us not notice. I was having a serious case of Mommy Guilt. "Do I brush her teeth enough? Should I brush them more? Do I give her too much juice? How could I not notice if she killed her teeth?"

We ate dinner after praying that God would somehow heal her teeth. After hubby was laying on the floor playing with Boo Bear. All of a sudden he points at Boo Bear and yells, "It's all gone!" We are all looking at him like he is crazy. "What's gone?" I ask. "Her teeth are fixed." Sure enough!! We looked again and her teeth were fine. I guess it was food after all. I had given her grapes as a snack before dinner at our house and somehow a skin had managed to seriously attach itself to her teeth and the roof of her mouth in such a way that it looked like her two top right teeth were dead. Talk about answered prayer!!! Praise God that it was nothing serious! We had a good laugh over it for sure.

What's in a name?

2007-10-30T14:45:00.000-06:00

I'm a slacker. Consider this yesterday's post.

We are slowly beginning the process of trying to find a suitable girl's name for this baby, if it turns out to be a girl. And that is where you come in. You being my two or three avid readers. Feel free to take a poll among your family and friends. We would like something that is not mainstream. I don't want her to have 3 other hers in all her classes. Unique yet not too weird. Needs to go with our last name which I am not going to share with you all so you will just have to use your imagination and hope that it works.

What girl's names do you like?